Feel The Wave

Where you begin your personal growth journey.

Author: feelthewave2022

  • When Praise Builds—and When It Breaks

    What is praise? According to Merriam-Webster, it means “to express a favorable judgment of someone.”

    Everyone wants to be appreciated and recognized. Praise is one way to show someone they’re doing well. It also feels rewarding for both the giver and the receiver.

    However, praise can’t be overused.

    Praise is short-lived—it happens in the moment and then fades. While it can make us feel valued, that feeling often disappears unless reinforced. To be effective, praise needs to be used thoughtfully. Too much of it feels insincere. Too little, and people may begin to doubt themselves.

    Praise shouldn’t be meaningless—it should be authentic and specific. While we often focus on individuals’ achievements, it’s even more important to recognize their effort and perseverance.

    Psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on children supports this. She discovered that praising innate traits like intelligence or talent made children less persistent, confident, and resilient.

    Timing also matters. Some people prefer private praise, while others thrive on public recognition. That’s why it’s important to understand your team members—what inspires them, and how they best receive feedback.

    Praise should also stand on its own—not be used to cushion criticism. Timing is everything, and it’s important to remember that confidence isn’t built through external validation. As noted by Dr. Becky Kennedy in Good Inside “confidence cannot be built from external validation or praise.”

    Praise can be especially meaningful when someone has worked hard, shown kindness, or is going through a tough time. In those moments, a few thoughtful words can turn someone’s day around.

    When used correctly, praise is helpful—but it’s also temporary. For lasting growth, encourage, coach, and lead. Giving praise is easy; leading is hard. Know when each is needed.

    Take care.

  • Let Go of What You Can’t Control

    We often exaggerate the importance of certain events simply because they didn’t meet our expectations. This leads to disappointment—not because the events were bad, but because we expected too much. And when we hear bad news, we instinctively fear the worst.

    We believe things should always go our way, and when they don’t, we see it as a personal failure. We’re constantly chasing the next thing—always planning, never present. In the process, we trade the richness of now for an imagined future.

    Take a breath.

    Whatever is stressing you out, ask yourself what it really means. Did something just not go your way? Did you have a rough day? It happens. Tomorrow is a new opportunity. Your car broke down? Call the shop. Handle it. The not-so-good moments are just blips on the radar of life.

    These moments may feel like they last forever, but often it’s because we hold on too tightly. We replay them over and over in our minds. But bad things happen to everyone. Let go. Don’t let them consume you. Life is a series of events—you get to decide how long you dwell in the good times and the bad.

    As Ryan Holiday said:

    “Stop torturing yourself. Be present. Focus primarily on what is in front of you. Resist the impulse to add judgement or speculation on top of what you are dealing with.”

    Enjoy the moment as it is—not how you thought it would be. Sometimes we’re unlucky. That’s life. Move on, and focus on the present moment, because it’s the only thing that truly exists.

    The past is behind you, and the future is only a possibility.

    Take care.

  • The Quiet Strength of Tranquility: How to Find Peace in a Noisy World

    Imagine a state where there’s no worry, no tension—just complete calmness within you. Everything is exactly where it’s supposed to be, and your only thought is: “It is what it is.”

    You feel content—free from misery and pain. Everything seems aligned for your success. It’s a fantastic feeling, and one we all strive for—a fulfilling life without stress.

    But is a life without stress truly possible? Unfortunately, it’s not. Growth requires challenges, and challenges bring stress. What we need is balance—a balance between moments of tranquility and the discomfort that helps us improve and grow.

    Finding that balance isn’t easy. Our minds prefer to run on autopilot—an evolutionary habit that helped our ancestors conserve energy in safe situations. But in today’s world, that mental shortcut can rob us of presence. Life passes us by like a movie, and we end up missing the actual experience of living.

    We overlook opportunities, avoid challenges, and forget tranquility—simply because we’ve stopped thinking deeply.

    And while we hold the world in our hands—scrolling through apps, watching people showcase curated lives—we lose sight of what really matters. We fantasize about having someone else’s life or something better. In doing so, we forget where we are, what’s important to us, and that we’re already doing just fine.

    To find tranquility, we must stay focused on ourselves, minimize distractions, and stop comparing ourselves to others. The answer isn’t to run away from yourself, but to accept who you are—because wherever you go, there you are.

    Know yourself. Discover your purpose. What are you meant to do with your life? Find that purpose, and tranquility will find you.

    Once you have your purpose, your path becomes clear—free from distractions and filled with meaning. You’ll know what you need to do and who you’re meant to be.

    Find your purpose, and tranquility will stay with you.

    Take care.

  • True Character: What You Do When No One Is Watching

    It’s easy to be on our best behaviour when everyone is watching. We don’t want to be judged, so we change how we act. We wear a mask to hide who we really are. I’m not talking about being shy or nervous in crowds. I’m talking about something deeper.

    This is about the people who seem to have it all together in public but unravel when they’re alone. The ones who cut corners when no one is watching, just to make themselves look better than they really are.

    When you see someone do something questionable—even something small—you can’t help but wonder what else they do when the spotlight’s off. Imagine you’re out for an early morning walk and a car blows through a stop sign. You ask yourself: Did they just not see it, or do they always do this because no one’s around and it saves them a few seconds?

    It makes you question their character. If they’ll run a stop sign when no one is watching, what else will they do? We all have our little quirks when no one’s around—picking our nose, double-dipping a carrot stick, sneaking an extra cookie. Those things are harmless. But what about the bigger things? The shortcuts that save time or make us look good but come at the cost of honesty?

    The truth is, cutting corners might feel convenient now, but it always catches up with you. Deep down, you know what’s real and what’s fake. Living with lies slowly eats away at you. We’re competitive beings. Winning feels amazing, and many of us will go to great lengths to achieve it. The same goes for being admired and liked. But as Ryan Holiday put it: “The competitive drive is what motivates an athlete, but to cheat, or to hurt an opponent in order to win is to miss the point. It’s easy to get caught up in the pursuit of glory, but the real test lies in how we act when no one else is watching, when the stakes are high, and when the choices are difficult.”

    Remember: being the best while being untruthful isn’t admirable. What truly matters is being honest—with yourself and with others. The next time you catch yourself in a quiet moment, ask: Would I be proud if someone saw this? That answer is where your true character lives.

    Take care.

  • Why You Need Blank Space in Your Calendar

    Today’s office environment looks very different from what it was 10 years ago—and even 5 years ago. With the availability of video chat, people can join or leave meetings in an instant, whereas in the past, they had to physically walk over. The temptation to book meetings is higher now simply because it’s so easy. We often don’t stop to ask if a meeting is even necessary. As a result, many people find themselves with a calendar packed from morning to evening, leaving no free time in between.

    While this may seem convenient and efficient, we need to ask: is it actually a good thing? We are caught in a constant cycle of listening, understanding, commenting, and asking. Our brain is processing huge amounts of information without rest. And although the brain is an extraordinary organ—so complex that even with today’s technology we don’t fully understand how it works—is it really meant to process information nonstop, taking breaks only when we sleep? Even outside of work, endless entertainment at our fingertips keeps our minds constantly stimulated through phones and streaming services.

    The amount of information people consume daily is staggering. Between 1980 and 2008, the number of bytes consumed increased by about 6 percent each year—adding up to a 350 percent increase over 28 years. It’s safe to assume the growth since 2009 has been even greater. Yet our brains haven’t evolved to handle such constant bombardment of information. Like any system under overload, its ability to function begins to diminish. If the brain is pushed too far, it can eventually shut down, sometimes showing up as depression or burnout.

    So how do we relieve the pressure on our brains? By giving ourselves time to reflect and process information. We can start by asking simple questions:

    • How is this information relevant?
    • Can I use it in the future?

    One way to make space for this reflection is by scheduling “blank space” meetings with ourselves. These meetings aren’t for doing more work, but for allowing our minds to process. A helpful exercise is to take a blank sheet of paper and simply write down whatever comes to mind. Don’t worry about making sense of it—just get it out of your head. Once it’s on paper, you can sort through it and find useful insights. You may even notice trends you hadn’t seen before—or you may realize that some meetings weren’t as valuable as you thought. Both outcomes are worthwhile.

    Taking time to reflect and organize your thoughts after meetings is like doing a mental cleanup. Without it, information remains scattered and incoherent.

    It might feel counterintuitive to block off blank space in your calendar in today’s busy world. But when you consider the benefits—greater clarity, focus, and peace of mind—it’s well worth it.

    Start adding reflection time to your schedule to release the mental pressure that builds up from back-to-back meetings. Think of solo reflection meetings as a release valve in a pressure system: too much pressure, and eventually it explodes. Protect your mind before it gets to that point.

    Take care.

  • Turn Life’s Lows Into Momentum

    We all have good days and bad days. Life is full of peaks and valleys, and sometimes we feel like we can accomplish anything—while other times, nothing at all. It’s funny how life works. One day you believe you could be the Prime Minister, and the next you’re not even sure you can control your own life.

    You need to remind yourself that this is what life is about—everything is temporary. Some moments last longer, while others pass in an instant. But remembering their temporary nature has an advantage: it motivates you to take action. Knowing what you’re dealing with, rather than being stuck in the unknown, provides clarity.

    If you know that hard times can be shortened with some effort—as opposed to moping—why not put in the work? Many of us don’t, because taking action is difficult. But you know what? So is moping, nagging, and constantly complaining.

    You’ll never find someone with a good life who constantly complains. People who live well are the ones who work hard and make an effort to improve every day. These types of people won’t claim to have it all figured out, but they do have a framework—and they keep building on it for the rest of their lives.

    So when you’re feeling down, make the effort—create a plan to guide you out of the slump. A little bit at a time makes a big difference. Don’t underestimate the power of small actions; they compound and will most likely change you over time.

    Go get it!

    Take care.

  • Things You Don’t Want to Think About (But Should)

    The way we move through life determines the kind of life we’ll have. If you sit back and let life pass without effort, it may feel as though everything is stacked against you. Life isn’t easy for anyone. Some people get lucky breaks, but that’s simply part of life. If you believe you never have luck, chances are you haven’t been paying attention—and you may be convincing yourself that the world is against you.

    You may believe nothing was ever given to you and that life is unfair. But here’s the truth: if you want an easier life, you have to work hard. If you want a harder life, do nothing. The choice is yours.

    If you view life as a game where effort earns rewards, you’ll likely feel more satisfied. No matter what, life is full of ups and downs. And even when you think things can’t get worse, sometimes they do.

    When life gets tough, you can choose optimism—though that’s easier said than done. Sometimes it requires shifting your perspective. Hard times can become learning experiences, testing both your patience and your character. Your mindset shapes who you are in those moments. You can fight against the struggle, or you can embrace the lessons it brings.

    Still, some events are catastrophic, and no matter how you look at them, nothing positive can be found. Death, a child’s life-threatening diagnosis, or losing your home to fire are examples. When these tragedies happen, nothing anyone says will change how unfair the world feels—and that response is valid, natural, and deeply human. Tragedy exists every day, and sometimes there is nothing good about it.

    With time, reflection becomes possible. Questions like “What can be learned?” or “What can be prevented?” can bring meaning. As Ryan Holiday wrote, “there was always something to learn, always some virtue we could practice in light of a tragedy that would make us better, teach us something, help us see something.”

    The next time you face a difficult situation, give yourself space to process it. Once some time has passed, look back and ask: What can I learn from this? Growth often hides in the places we least want to look.

    Take care. 

  • True Wealth: Why Relationships Matter More Than Possessions

    If you want a fulfilling life, look to what money can’t buy—meaningful relationships, self-confidence, and genuine appreciation. But how do we gain these things?

    One of the most important steps is simply being present. Don’t let your thoughts—or your phone—pull you away from the moment, because the present is the only thing that’s real. Pay attention when someone speaks. Listen actively. Ask questions. Be curious, and keep an open mind to learn from them. These choices cost nothing, yet they bring lasting joy. Strangely, few people seem to want them. Why?

    Being present isn’t easy today. Our phones demand attention with endless pings. Truly listening takes work, patience, and effort. Conversations require time, and not every one of them feels meaningful. Meanwhile, a short reel gives us an instant dopamine hit. So does buying that new bag or shirt—the quick rush of excitement is always within reach.

    But face-to-face conversations create long-term effects, even if their value is hard to measure. What brings you joy with one person might not bring the same to another, and that’s okay. Relationships are about give and take—and about knowing yourself. Stay curious. Enjoy the moment. See people not as burdens, but as sources of wisdom, perspective, and growth.

    We keep chasing that rush, believing more things will finally satisfy us—but they never do. Some spend a lifetime accumulating possessions, yet never feel content. As the philosopher Epictetus reminded us, “Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”

    Think of someone at the end of their life—or someone you’ve lost. What do you remember about them? Likely not their possessions, but how they made you feel. Their personality. The moments you shared. And yet, despite knowing this, we still choose things over people. We convince ourselves that stuff will make us happier than relationships.

    Life is measured by shared experiences. That is true wealth. Owning things is fine—but never at the cost of neglecting relationships.

    Take care.

  • Little Is Needed for a Happy Life: Finding Joy Beyond Money

    Some parents did their best to provide for their kids, while others didn’t. When we look at people who are successful today, we often hear stories of rough childhoods or traumatic experiences they had to overcome. They learned early on that getting what you want—or making a change—takes action.

    Some of the greatest minds came from nothing. They had little growing up and, most interestingly, only had themselves to rely on. Yet they found a way to survive—and even thrive—against all odds.

    One study found that 79% of millionaires in the U.S. didn’t inherit their wealth, and many of them live modest lives. They don’t get carried away by money or glamour; instead, they use what they need and share their wealth. Look at how many wealthy people live today—the Mark Zuckerberg’s, Bill Gates’, Tony Robbin’s. How do they spend their money and live day to day? They aren’t consumed by entitlement; they understand that money is a tool to improve their lives and the lives of others. That doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy nice things—they do—but they don’t parade them around.

    Money is powerful—and it can corrupt people if they’re not careful. It has a way of revealing someone’s true colours. It can also cause a kind of amnesia, making people forget who they were before wealth. Many believe money will solve all their problems, but as Jim Carrey once said, “I wish everyone could become rich to know that is not the answer.”

    Money is not the answer. It never was, and it never will be. Nearly 2,000 years ago, Marcus Aurelius, emperor of Rome, wrote: “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”

    We must decide how we live—no one else can do that for us. We don’t need much to be happy; the simpler, the better. A simple life means fewer worries, fewer problems, and more time to focus on what truly matters.

    Take care.

  • When Words Hurt: How to Stay Grounded in Who You Are

    No one likes to be made fun of or be the brunt of a joke. No one wants to be ignored, attacked, or humiliated. We want to be loved, accepted, and celebrated. We want to be included. However, not all of this is in our control. We must accept events as they are. The only thing we truly control is what we think and how we respond.

    No one can disgrace you except yourself. People can say what they want—good or bad—but only one thing matters: what you say and believe about yourself. If you know something isn’t true, why should it affect you? Of course, that’s easier said than done. Emotions play a part, and they are difficult to control.

    It’s hard to stay composed when someone’s impression of us is negative. Even if we know their words aren’t true and are more a reflection of them than of us, we often feel the urge to defend ourselves.

    Why do we need to convince someone that we are not stupid, mean, or ugly when we already know that’s not true? Why waste our energy defending ourselves against something we know is false? Perhaps it’s instinct—the human need for acceptance—that drives us. It’s not easy to tame something wired into us since the beginning of our existence.

    That being said, if someone called me a purple elephant with malicious intent, I’d laugh and brush it off. But if someone called me a pathetic loser, I’d feel a rush of emotions and the urge to defend myself, even if that person was a stranger. Why? Why do we put so much weight on what others—even strangers—think of us? Perhaps it’s rooted in evolution, when belonging to the tribe meant survival. Either way, it’s a powerful pull.

    Some people have learned to tune out the noise from strangers. Kudos to them. I still have work to do, and it’s something that requires constant attention. If you feel the urge to defend yourself to a stranger, pause and ask yourself why. You know yourself better than anyone. In the end, it shouldn’t matter what someone you’ve never met thinks of you.

    Take care.