Feel The Wave

Where you begin your personal growth journey.

Author: feelthewave2022

  • The Construction Site of Life: Planning, Obstacles, and Growth

    What do life and a construction site have in common? A lot, actually. They both have a beginning and an end. Both require a blueprint. Both depend on multiple people to make them great. And both come with expectations mixed with unexpected events and problems.

    When we first enter the world, our parents are there to guide us and teach us the ways of life as they know it. They even have expectations for us before we are born.

    As we grow up, we develop our own expectations based on our interests and character, which don’t always align with those of our parents. The same is true of a construction site. In the beginning, the building site might be a field or forest. Whatever it may be, there is a vision of what the end result will look like. Once construction begins, the core of the vision stays intact, but expectations might shift depending on what is discovered. Sometimes difficult decisions arise—like when an unexpected boulder is found beneath the earth.

    Life is no different. As we enter adulthood, complex problems become ever more present, and we find ourselves at a crossroads. We don’t always know what to do, and time spent ruminating can make life feel like it’s standing still. These problems might include decisions about career changes, family, or living arrangements. Obstacles are everywhere and appear at every stage of life. We can choose to ignore them, or we can tackle them head-on and grow from the experience.

    A construction site faces similar challenges, where tough decisions are made every day by its leaders. However, the key difference between life and a construction site is the speed at which decisions are made. It might seem like the people in charge make decisions easily—and perhaps they do—but that’s thanks to one thing: experience.

    There’s no pre-written life manual. Your book of life writes itself through experiences and experience comes from trying new things, which requires vulnerability and a willingness to learn. A construction site won’t hesitate if there’s a hill in the middle of the plan. Instead, they’ll use it to their advantage and incorporate it into the design. Sure, it would be easier if everything were flat, but that’s rarely the case. They work with what’s there.

    The same goes for life: you can either face your challenges and climb the hill or turn back. As Marcus Aurelius said, “The obstacle is the way.” It’s going to be difficult, but the end result will be worth the struggle. The experience you gain will make future challenges easier—and you’ll be better for it in the long run.

    Be the superintendent of your own construction site. What’s the plan? Anticipate obstacles and be ready to take them on. No life is simple, but every life can be an adventure—so experience it!

    Take care.

  • Shift Your Perspective, Unlock Your Potential

    Nothing is easy when you’re great at what you do. It might seem that the best in their field have it easy or make their performance look effortless, but that’s not the case. Their success comes from countless hours of hard work, dedication, and discipline in mastering their skills. They showed up even when they didn’t feel like it and pushed through exhaustion to put in the work.

    Being great means repeating the same thing over and over again. It takes discipline. As Mike Tyson put it best, “Discipline is doing what you hate to do, but do it like you love it.”

    Reaching the top of any field is difficult. It requires immense effort and consistency. There are countless tasks that must be done—tasks most people are unwilling to commit to. So, what sets high achievers apart? How do they overcome the monotony of working on their craft every day without losing motivation?

    It all comes down to perspective. Having a goal is essential, but setting one is the easy part. The real challenge lies in the steps that follow. Achieving success requires a plan, action, and, most importantly, consistent effort.

    Some athletes don’t stop after winning one championship, even if that was their initial goal. Instead, they push themselves to work even harder the next time. What drives them to continue? How do they stay motivated?

    Once again, it’s their perspective. They don’t see the hours of practice as torture or monotony—they see them as steps toward growth.

    For some, the work becomes second nature, a part of their identity. Others gamify the most tedious aspects of their training or job. They show up, do the work, and trust the process. It’s simple, yet demanding. They know that by pushing themselves today, what once felt difficult will become easier. They embrace a growth mindset.

    Your mindset shapes your reality. If you start a task believing it will be difficult, you’ll likely prove yourself right. That’s why perspective is crucial before taking on any challenge. A positive outlook helps you clear the first hurdle before you even take action. Instead of focusing on the difficulty, focus on the benefits—what will this task bring you? How will it make you stronger and better?

    Seek out the fun in challenging situations. Once you find it, hold on to it. That might be the difference between staying on the path to success or veering off course because the journey felt too hard.

    Change your perspective. Let your dominant thought be the enjoyment of the action and the process, not how difficult it is or will be.

    Take care.

  • The Power of Generosity: A Simple Path to a Happier Life

    Everyone who is great at something once started knowing nothing. Some began at a young age, while others started well into their 40s or 50s. It doesn’t matter where you are in life—if you want something and are willing to put in the work, you can achieve it.

    You don’t need much to get started—just the will to put in the effort. The will to work builds consistency, consistency leads to progress, and progress brings results. It’s that progress people chase, and it’s what makes them happy.

    Some of the greatest minds grew up with very little. Some had parents who did their best to provide for them, while others were not so lucky, facing neglect and hardship. Yet, despite the odds, they found a way to survive and thrive.

    In the United States, 79% of millionaires did not inherit their wealth (citation needed). Many live modest lives, not carried away by money or glamour. They use their wealth wisely, ensuring they have what they need while generously sharing with others. Actor Keanu Reeves, for example, is known for riding public transportation, donating to charities, and even buying lunch for crew members on movie sets.

    Generosity isn’t just about money—it can be found in the little things we do daily. Giving your time to help others, donating to a cause, or sharing your knowledge can bring immense joy and fulfillment. Many of the wealthiest people in the world give generously, not just because they can, but because helping others feels good.

    While money has the power to corrupt, it does not do so for everyone. In many ways, money acts as a mirror, reflecting a person’s true character. Ultimately, people can be happy without millions of dollars, which suggests that something else—perhaps generosity and purpose—plays a greater role in a fulfilling life. Material possessions won’t bring lasting peace, but helping others will. As Jim Carrey once said, “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”

    Marcus Aurelius wrote, “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” We shape our own lives. Happiness doesn’t require much—the simpler, the better. Less to worry about means fewer problems.

    So, be generous in whatever way you can. It’s a ticket to a happy and fulfilling life.

    Take care.

  • 4 Powerful Questions to Ask Yourself for Personal Growth

    Are you asking yourself the right questions? Here are four powerful questions that can help you understand yourself, find your purpose, stay curious, and prioritize your well-being.

    Who am I?

    Why? To understand what makes you unique and to discover what truly matters to you. Your life experiences shape you into more than just a one-dimensional person. You may be an athlete, a parent, a spouse, a sibling, an energetic individual, or a calm and reflective one. So, who are you?

    What is my purpose?

    Why? To uncover what motivates you to wake up each morning and positively impact the lives around you. Your purpose may evolve over time. As we age, we grow and take on different roles. Someone raising a young family may see their purpose as nurturing incredible human beings. How they fulfill that purpose when their child is two versus fifteen will differ, but the core purpose remains. Beyond that, they might also be a spouse, an employee, or a friend. We all have multiple purposes in life.

    Was I curious?

    Why? To embrace the vast amount of unexplored knowledge the world has to offer. Curiosity allows you to discover what you don’t know or deepen your expertise in what you do. Keeping an open mind toward others and their opinions is crucial. Ask yourself: Why do you believe you’re right and someone else is wrong? Could you both be right? Understanding different perspectives can lead to growth.

    Am I taking care of myself?

    Why? To stay present and prioritize your well-being—physically, mentally, and spiritually. All three are essential to knowing yourself. You have only one body and one mind; treat them as a temple. A strong, well-nurtured body and mind will help you achieve more than one that is neglected. Since you can’t trade them in, take care of them.

    Take care.

  • Reset Your Mind: How to Find Calm in a Chaotic World

    The world is moving fast, and with the entire globe at our fingertips, we have enough information to keep us occupied for a lifetime. As long as our devices are charged and we have an internet connection, we barely need to move—aside from eating or using the washroom. Our minds feel satisfied just by staying connected, requiring no physical activity at all. The evolutionary goal of conserving energy has worked its magic—we’ve succeeded by the standards of the animal kingdom. Game, set, match.

    Yet, depression rates—particularly in the U.S.—have steadily increased over the past few decades, with a noticeable spike in recent years. Despite knowing more about mental health than ever before, we seem to suffer more. Perhaps this is due to improved diagnostic practices, or maybe we’re truly facing a mental health crisis. The constant barrage of information from our phones, paired with the pressure to stay busy and prove we’re “keeping up with the Joneses,” undoubtedly takes a toll. Our minds need rest—not just during sleep, but throughout the day. The brain can’t operate in overdrive all day and expect sleep to sort out the mess.

    Throughout the day, take a moment to breathe. Step away from the screen. Inhale through your nose for a count of four, hold for four, then exhale through your mouth for another four. How did that feel? The power of just 12 seconds of focused breathing is incredible. Tuning into something as automatic as breathing can reset and re-energize the mind.

    As Marc Champagne puts it in the book Personal Socrates:

    “Sometimes we just need to reset our mind. Think of this reset in the same light as restarting your phone or computer after days, weeks, or months of operating. Too many programs and tasks are running at the same time. Hit restart and take on the challenge with a fresh mind.” (p.228)

    Go for a walk without earbuds or find a quiet spot in your home—no phone, no distractions. Even better, go outside where you can breathe in the fresh air. Sit at a park and watch the trees sway. Head to the beach and gaze at the horizon. Watch birds flying through the sky. Take the time to truly observe the world around you. It’s the simple things in life that bring us back to the present. They remind us that life doesn’t need to be so complicated. But we have to choose to notice—and that begins with resetting the mind.

    Make sure you have moments in your day to pause and breathe. You’ll feel much better when your head finally hits the pillow.

    Take care.

  • Why You Should Start Questioning Yourself—and Others

    We go about our day-to-day lives without much thought. Our commute to work is done on autopilot, and we sometimes wonder if we were even awake during the journey. We don’t question what others are doing—or how we ourselves do things. We follow our routines because they work, and they’re comfortable. They help us get through the day.

    In Ancient Rome, identifying counterfeit money was a frequent concern. There were various techniques used at the time, and some people became so practiced at spotting false coins that it became a habit. Epictetus, a slave turned philosopher, noted how people paid great attention to identifying fake coins—but rarely checked if their own impressions or those of others were just as counterfeit. We believe what people say and do without much questioning. We turn the other way, not because we trust blindly, but because it’s easier than disrupting our daily rhythm.

    We also avoid questioning our own beliefs and actions. We put up blinders to ourselves. We assume everything we do is meaningful and correct. But if someone else sees our actions as wrong, how can both be true? Something has to give.

    If we want to grow, we need the ability to shift perspective and re-evaluate our beliefs. We must remain open to others’ opinions and to honest reflections of ourselves. Understanding starts with curiosity.

    Put yourself in another person’s shoes and ask: “What do they see that I don’t?” When you question your own beliefs, create different scenarios. Scenario-building is a powerful tool—it reveals new possibilities.

    If you can understand another person’s point of view—and even articulate it as well as your own—that’s a mark of intelligence. It doesn’t mean you agree with them, but you’re able to recognize the common ground and the differences.

    Challenging your impressions has great value. You begin to see what’s right in front of you. You understand that more than one thing can be true at once. And you gain the courage to change your mind—a true sign of maturity and wisdom.

    So the next time you feel a certain way or observe something, pause and ask: Why do I feel this way? Especially if you’ve always felt that way. And if someone else feels differently, ask: Why is that?

    Challenge the impressions you hold of yourself and others to discover a new world.

    Take care.

  • The Hidden You: Who Are You When No One’s Watching?

    There are things we do when we’re alone that we would never do in public. At home, we feel most like ourselves—we let our guard down. The quirks come out: dancing in a funny way, singing in strange voices, acting silly for no reason. Our families might notice, but they don’t think much of it. It’s just part of who we are to them. These actions feel natural, even joyful.

    Then, there are things we do only when no one is watching—sometimes even at home. These moments are more deliberate. Maybe you pretend not to see a piece of trash on the floor, or you avoid holding the elevator door for someone and make it seem like you didn’t notice. Maybe you engage in something worse, like anonymously trolling people online. That behaviour is technically public, but your identity remains hidden.

    Would you still do those things if your name were attached to them? If your actions were announced publicly, would you feel proud—or ashamed?

    Sometimes, we justify these behaviours by saying, “I’m not hurting anyone,” or, “It’s within the rules.” But rules and ethics aren’t always the same. When our identity is hidden—especially online—we tend to push boundaries, act rudely, or follow the crowd, thinking it’s harmless. But if you wouldn’t do it in public, should you really do it at all?

    Ryan Holiday once said, “We should strive for the opposite. We want people to see what we’re doing. We should be the kind of person who the more they learn about us, the more they respect and admire us.”

    That’s the challenge: to live in such a way that you don’t need to hide any part of yourself. To be proud of what you do—publicly or privately. To be honest, not just with others, but with yourself.

    So ask yourself: Just because I could do it… should I?

    Take care.

  • Be the Reason Someone Smiles Today

    It doesn’t take much to be kind. We sometimes think kindness needs to be extravagant or grand. But even the simplest acts can have a powerful impact.

    Acts of kindness are only meaningful when they are genuine. If we perform them just for recognition, we’re not truly being kind—we’re simply seeking attention. So, what act of kindness could you do today to make the world a slightly better place?

    Every time we complete an act of kindness, big or small, we make the world a better place. Some examples include:

    • Holding the door for someone

    • Smiling at a stranger on the street

    • Saying please and thank you

    • Buying a cup of coffee for the person behind you

    • Calling a loved one, a friend, or colleague you haven’t spoken to in a while

    • Helping an elderly person cross the street

    • Assisting your neighbour with yard work

    • Leaving an encouraging note on a colleague’s desk

    • Saying good morning to your colleagues

    These actions are simple and don’t take much time to do. Don’t underestimate the power of kindness. A small act can not only brighten someone’s day but may even change their life.

    Kindness also benefits you—it improves your well-being, boosts your mood, and creates a sense of connection. It’s a win-win: you’re helping someone else and yourself at the same time.

    There are opportunities to be kind every day. And when you’re on the receiving end of kindness, take a moment to notice how it made you feel. That feeling may inspire you to pass it on.

    Make the world a little better today—with one small act of kindness.

    Take care.

  • Growth Lives Outside Your Comfort Zone

    New situations can be stressful. We often feel anxious when we encounter the unfamiliar and hesitate to move forward. Our body and mind send us warnings—“Stay away. Danger!” These reactions are completely normal. They’re simply signs that we need to stay alert.

    Each experience is different, but the more we expose ourselves to new situations, the better we become at facing our fears. Over time, we learn that these warning signs don’t always indicate real danger. As a result, we start embracing unfamiliar experiences more often—and become more adventurous in the process.

    For some, those warning signs are enough to make them stop and turn around. They remain in their comfort zone, avoiding the unknown. While this might feel safe in the moment, over time it can lead to a sense of unfulfillment.

    On the contrary, some people learn to overcome or ignore those signals. Their curiosity overpowers their fear. They move forward because they want to know what’s on the other side.

    New situations can be as big as moving to a new city, starting a new job, or picking up a new hobby. While these may seem easy for some, it’s likely because they’ve had practice facing the unfamiliar. Like anything in life, it’s difficult at first—but the more we do it, the more natural it becomes.

    Trying something new doesn’t always have to be a major life change. It can be as simple as taking a different route to work or shopping at a new grocery store. Whatever the change, unfamiliarity often brings a sense of unease. But the more we try new things, the more comfortable we become with that feeling.

    Each new experience teaches us something—about the world and about ourselves. We prove to ourselves that we can learn, adapt, and grow. Every time we start something new, we face a test of character. Will we keep going even when it gets tough? The more challenges we face, the stronger we become—and the more prepared we are to take on new adventures.

    What may seem like a small step today could lead to massive growth tomorrow. With each new experience, we stack victories, build confidence, and gain knowledge.

    That one decision to go for it—to ignore the fear and push through—makes you better. Overcome the anxiety of the unfamiliar, and see where it takes you.

    Take care.

  • The Power of Being Wrong

    We avoid being wrong at all costs. There’s something about it we struggle to handle when it happens to us. Why is being wrong so embarrassing? Why do we feel the need to make an excuse every time it happens? We often say things like, “I thought you meant this,” or “I didn’t understand the question correctly.”

    Does the ego have anything to do with this? I believe so. We want to protect our reputation and appear intelligent to others. We think smart people should never be wrong and must know everything. But when we make excuses, we’re really saying: to be right is to be loved, while to be wrong is to be excluded.

    The school system reinforces this mindset. It rewards correct answers and discourages wrong ones. From a young age, we’re taught that failure is bad and success is good. You either have the answers, or you don’t—and if you don’t, you fail. There’s little recognition for effort—only results—because effort is harder to measure.

    Most people aren’t recognized for their effort, especially if their results don’t stand out. And humans love to be praised. Praise releases dopamine and serotonin—the feel-good chemicals—while being wrong can trigger adrenaline, activating the fight-or-flight response. We want to repeat the good feeling and avoid the discomfort of failure.

    It’s tough because of how we view achievement and personal development. I believe this isn’t just a modern issue but an evolutionary trait. Early humans had to be right about their environment—it was often a matter of life or death. Their bodies reacted to danger or safety, and being right meant survival.

    So if it’s part of our DNA, how do we adjust our reaction to being wrong? We practice. And we get to know ourselves. Self-awareness and repetition build self-confidence and emotional intelligence. You’ll learn that learning from mistakes isn’t as bad as you imagined—in fact, it’s where real growth happens.

    Acknowledging what you don’t know can be freeing—especially when you realize no one knows everything. Adopt a growth mindset and be willing to start as a beginner. This leads to deeper self-discovery and clarity about what you truly know and believe.

    It’s also important to be open about your mistakes. It takes courage to admit your errors and learn publicly. We often fear being mocked, but most people are too wrapped up in their own thoughts—or they’ll respect you for your humility and honesty.

    Discover. Debate. Explore. Don’t be afraid of being wrong. There’s always something to learn on the other side—if you don’t make excuses. In the end, it’s not about being perfect—it’s about being teachable, open, and growing.

    Take care.