Feel The Wave

Where you begin your personal growth journey.

Author: feelthewave2022

  • The Quiet Power of Doing the Right Thing

    Everyone looks up to someone to know how to act or respond in certain situations—for better or worse. That’s one way we learn how to interact with others. But we sometimes forget that we, too, are being watched. The choices we make matter.

    We should strive to be the kind of person others want to emulate. Be proud of who you are, what you do for others, and what you do for yourself. At the end of the day, you should be able to smile, knowing you made a difference. You learned something new, helped someone else, and got a little better. That’s something to be excited about. Because tomorrow, you get to do it all over again—another chance to improve and support others.

    It’s not just about helping people when they’re around. It’s also about doing the right thing when no one is watching. Whether you’re the CEO or working on the floor helping customers, your private actions define your character.

    Even in the quiet of your home, take care of yourself—your mind, body, and spirit. What you do in private is reflected in how you carry yourself in public. Be consistent across all areas of your life. And if there’s a part of yourself you don’t like, change it. Few things are more inspiring than someone who grows and evolves for the better.

    People change for many reasons—often to be loved, admired, or accepted. Some chase fame. But if you don’t want to change for yourself, you’ll never find what you’re truly looking for. Change only for you.

    How can you help others if you haven’t helped yourself? Be the kind of person who works on themselves—even when no one is watching. That’s when real growth happens. When you’re true to yourself, great things begin to manifest. Do the right thing. Be a good person in both private and public.

    Don’t gossip just to fit in or have something to say. There’s no such thing as “good” gossip unless it uplifts someone. Don’t repeat rumours or headlines without reflection—especially if you don’t believe them to be true.

    Marcus Aurelius wrote:

    “If it’s not right, do not do it; if it’s not true, do not say it… First, do nothing thoughtlessly or without purpose. Secondly, see that your acts are directed to a coastal end.”

    You’re in control of your actions. What others think of you is their business. But always remember—someone is looking up to you. So do the right thing. Be honest. Be respectful. Set the example.

    Take care.

  • The Measure of Character: How We Treat Others Matters Most

    Wherever we go, we encounter people from all walks of life. Some days we choose to acknowledge them—a quick smile on the train, a friendly nod on the street. Other days, we stay in our own world, earbuds in, gaze averted. Both choices are ours. But how we handle these moments says a lot about who we are.

    Certain environments require interaction. At a restaurant, for example, we must speak with the waiter to place an order. In any service setting, communication is part of the exchange. While the necessity of interaction may vary, the way we engage with others—particularly those in service roles—reflects the kind of person we are.

    Unfortunately, there’s a tendency for some to treat individuals in lower-paying jobs with less respect. But let’s be clear: your income doesn’t make you more valuable than someone else. You might earn more due to a specific skill set or level of experience, but in terms of human dignity, we are all equal.

    How you treat a customer service representative, a bus driver, or a waiter is a mirror of your character. Politeness should not be reserved for peers or superiors—it should be extended to everyone. After all, actions speak louder than words.

    Respect shouldn’t have to be earned; it should be given freely. If someone disrespects you, that doesn’t give you permission to stoop to their level. Retaliating only confirms that you’ve adopted the same behaviour. The more powerful choice is to walk away with your dignity intact. That isn’t always easy—but often, it’s necessary.

    We all have off days. Days when we feel irritable, exhausted, or withdrawn. On those days, we may not want to make eye contact, let alone engage in conversation—and that’s okay. If we can have those moments, so can others. When someone else is short with you or seems unfriendly, resist the urge to take it personally. They might simply be having a tough day.

    At the heart of it all is a simple principle we’ve all heard before:

    Treat others the way you want to be treated.

    Choose kindness. Extend respect. Be a good person—not just when it’s easy, but especially when it’s not.

    Take care. 

  • Ordinary People, Extraordinary Courage: The Power of Selflessness

    Some people have made tremendous sacrifices for others—putting their lives on the line for individuals or causes that benefit thousands. They acted without hesitation, never looking away or complaining about the injustice they faced. They knew what was right and moved forward with conviction.

    Think of Martin Luther King Jr. and others who stood up to systemic injustice in 1950s and 60s America. Or Gandhi, who led India’s peaceful resistance against British rule. Or Thích Quảng Đức, the Vietnamese Buddhist monk who set himself on fire in 1963 to protest religious discrimination. These acts took extraordinary moral courage.

    How can someone do that? How can one person face an army? It’s inspiring to read about people like this. What’s even more awe-inspiring is that they were ordinary human beings. They made a choice to believe in a cause greater than themselves. They were selfless.

    They embody the true meaning of selflessness—the quality of caring more about what others need and want than what you need or want yourself.

    We tell their stories as reminders: to stand up for what’s right, to believe that change is possible, and to remember that if they could do it, so can we.

    We don’t need to gather crowds or march down city streets to make a difference. Small acts of kindness and everyday heroism matter too.

    If you witness bullying, racism, or discrimination—speak up. Don’t stay silent. If someone is rude to a waiter, or litters in public, speak up. These small actions ripple outward. It may not feel like much in the moment, but it matters deeply to the person you’re standing up for.

    Helping others without expecting anything in return—that may be the greatest thing we can do on this earth. That is true selflessness.

    Take care.

  • Seeing Only the Stain: How Small Problems Consume Us

    Our minds are wired to recognize patterns, and when something is off, we tend to fixate on it. The mind perceives this as a threat and wants to ensure we’re safe. Similarly, when we get a stain on our shirt or pants—no matter how small—that’s all we see. We become so focused on the stain because it breaks the pattern.

    Even if the stain is tiny, we notice it—and it bothers us simply because we know it’s there. If we can see it, others might see it too. And once that thought is planted, it consumes us.

    The same thing happens when we experience problems in life. It could be an issue at work that spills into our personal life, or vice versa. Whatever it is, it becomes a stain on our life. We see it, and we can’t unsee it until it’s resolved—even if it’s a small misunderstanding with someone we care about.

    No one else might know about it, but in your mind, you can’t stop thinking about it. And if others do find out, they might judge you. It’s strange how a small argument with a family member or a tense moment at work can turn your world upside down.

    We need ways to cope. The stain may be small, but it can consume us. It shouldn’t dictate how your day unfolds. These moments are just that—moments—and they shouldn’t have the power to take over everything else.

    One useful strategy is to compartmentalize your thoughts. Rather than letting the problem swirl endlessly in your head, place it in a mental “compartment” for now. This helps separate it from the rest of your day so you can focus on what needs your attention.

    It takes practice and mindfulness to do this well. But over time, compartmentalization can help reduce stress and keep you grounded in the present—rather than swept away by a single stain.

    Don’t let the stain consume you.

    Take care.

  • Everyone Has a Story: Why Empathy Matters

    People act differently in different situations. We all have unique experiences and perspectives on how the world works. Some feel entitled, others are humble, and some remain indifferent. You never really know who you’re going to meet.

    One thing is certain: how someone behaves, what they say, or how they treat you is ultimately out of your control. What is within your control is how you choose to respond. When we try to understand where someone is coming from, we open ourselves to empathy. With each of us shaped by different life stories, it’s unrealistic to expect others to think or feel exactly as we do. Our uniqueness is what makes us—you and me—who we are.

    People’s actions often reflect how they are feeling. When someone acts out of character—or is mean, impatient, or ungrateful—there’s usually something deeper going on. But it’s hard to know what that is, because we only see their actions, not their struggles. Understanding the root of someone’s behaviour often requires conversation—and that can be hard.

    Take, for example, a child who bullies others in the schoolyard. It’s likely not just about the bullying itself. Often, the child may be dealing with trauma or may not be receiving enough love and attention at home. Acting out becomes a way to be seen and heard.

    Dr. Becky Kennedy wrote:

    “Behavior, in all its forms, is a window: into the feelings, thoughts, urges, sensations, perceptions, and unmet needs of a person. Behavior is never ‘the story,’ but rather it’s a clue to the bigger story begging to be addressed.”

    When we adopt this perspective, it changes how we see others. Instead of labeling someone as harmful or difficult, we might start to see them as someone who is hurting. We begin to understand why people do what they do.

    We are all human. We make mistakes. We do things that don’t always align with our values. But Ever. Looking in the mirror and acknowledging our own behaviour is a powerful step forward. We are always changing, and perfection is never the goal—progress is.

    Take care.

  • Three Ways to Be Bette Every Day

    There are many actions you can take to improve yourself and reach your goals. Here are three to keep in mind and apply when you need a push to move further and faster toward where you want to go.

    1. Don’t Waste Time Worrying About Other People’s Opinions

    Focus on what you can control—your thoughts and actions. What others think of you is outside your control and shouldn’t consume your energy.

    As Marcus Aurelius wrote, “It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.”

    It’s about knowing yourself and trusting your abilities. Be confident, try new things, and don’t fear failure—because failure is often the best way to learn and grow.

    2. Concentrate on Your Effort, Not the Results

    Ryan Holiday wrote, “If you’ve put in your maximum effort, if you’ve committed fully, if you’ve made decisions with careful thought—that in itself is a victory, regardless of whether it’s a good or bad outcome.”

    Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we come up short—and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean we’re not good enough. It simply means we’re human, and we should be proud that we tried.

    Learn from those experiences so you don’t repeat the same mistakes, and set yourself up for greater success next time.

    3. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

    There’s no shame in asking for help when you’re stuck. Even some of the bravest people in the world call for help when they need it.

    Asking for help can bring a huge sense of relief. Often, you’ll wonder why you waited—and next time, you won’t hesitate.

    Sometimes we don’t ask because we’re afraid of being judged. But in most cases, the person who can help has faced the same issue before—and would be happy to help you overcome it.

    Help can be a shortcut to reaching your goals. Everyone needs it at some point—you just have to ask.

    Final Thoughts

    These three principles can help you improve and move toward your goals with more confidence: don’t worry about others’ opinions, focus on your effort—not short-term results—and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

    Take care.

  • Empty Your Cup: How to Clear Your Mind and Regain Mental Clarity

    The mind is a wonderful thing. It holds what we value most—from what we learned in school to cherished childhood memories. Despite decades of research, we still don’t fully understand how it stores and organizes such vast amounts of information.

    How can something so small retain a lifetime of memories through chemical reactions? It’s astonishing—perhaps as close to a miracle as we’ll ever get. While we may never completely grasp how the mind, brain, and body connect, we continue to uncover fascinating insights every year. Though physically small, the mind is like the universe—limitless, ever-expanding with each passing day.

    One thing we do know: to prevent overload, we must make a conscious effort to calm and care for the mind. Just like we tidy our homes or update our devices, our minds need occasional clean-ups to run efficiently. Without this, our thoughts become cluttered, and mental performance declines.

    Even when it doesn’t feel like it, you’re in control of your mind. Since birth, it has been programmed to operate efficiently—to protect you and reduce cognitive burden. But when overwhelmed, the mind struggles. It lacks an automatic disposal system, so unused or irrelevant information accumulates.

    This is where you come in.

    To stay mentally sharp, you need to actively empty your cup—and two simple practices can help: meditation and journaling.

    Meditation offers calm to both the body and mind. It allows you to pause, reflect, and become aware of the thoughts rising to the surface. It slows the mind, helps you process your experiences, and clears unnecessary mental clutter, leaving behind a more organized and accessible thought landscape.

    Journaling is another powerful tool. Like meditation, it allows you to process and organize your thoughts—but on paper. It’s like a mental cut-and-paste, removing thoughts from your mind and placing them on the page. In doing so, you’re forced to understand and articulate them, which brings clarity and emotional relief.

    Each time you meditate or journal, you are emptying your mind. Think of your mind as a cup of water: it starts empty every morning, but can fill up fast. If you don’t take time to empty it, it will overflow. And when it does, your focus narrows to what’s inside the cup rather than what’s happening around you.

    Unfortunately, the mind tends to retain things that aren’t always useful. That’s why it’s so important to empty the cup—clear out the mental clutter—so space is available for what truly matters.

    When your mental cup is full, you miss opportunities. You don’t have the capacity to recognize the good things around you. You remain stagnant, unable to learn, grow, or evolve.

    Now that you understand the importance of clearing your mind, it’s time to start. Practice daily mental hygiene. Empty your cup. Remove the blindfold. See the world in all its beauty.

    Opportunities await.

    Take care.

  • The Obstacle is the Way

    Life has its ups and downs. Everyone experiences hardship, success, failure, and luck throughout their lifetime. These may not always be balanced, but one thing is certain: we will all face obstacles. The most important part of dealing with them is acceptance.

    You can try to avoid obstacles, but you’ll end up running away from something your entire life—and that’s not truly living. You’ll miss out on challenges that help you grow and learn about yourself. Challenges reveal what you’re capable of. Without them, you’ll never push your boundaries. So, accept the obstacle. Accept the challenge.

    Not all obstacles are equal, and that means you shouldn’t go through them blindly. First, evaluate them. There are many ways to face an obstacle. Ask yourself: Can I go around it? Over it? Under it? Or is the best way to go through it?

    In most cases, turning back is not the best option. Giving up shouldn’t be on the table—because chances are, you’ll face a similar situation again, and you’ll wish you had tried earlier. Tackling challenges and navigating obstacles makes you more adaptable and better prepared for the future.

    The thing about obstacles is that they often feel the same at first: doubt creeps in, and you’re faced with a decision—fight or flight. If you don’t take the time to assess the obstacle and figure out how to overcome it, your default reaction might be to avoid it. But the more you do that, the more future obstacles will feel insurmountable. They start to pile up. It may seem like bad luck, but in reality, it’s your mindset. Every time you turn away from an obstacle, your confidence and resilience take a hit.

    On the other hand, when you face an obstacle and take the time to figure out how to move forward, you build confidence. The next challenge doesn’t seem so intimidating. It may take more effort now to deal with tough obstacles, but in the long run, you’ll be stronger, more efficient, and better equipped to handle whatever comes your way.

    Your choice.

    Take care.

  • Keep Going: Pushing Through When Life Feels Heavy

    Life gets tough. It’s full of struggles. If you’re like most people, you’ve gone through difficult times. Maybe you’re in one of those moments now, wondering, “Am I ever going to get over this?” Life can be hard.

    If you’ve made it through hardship and are now in a better place, don’t forget what you went through. There’s pride in that. Let your struggles remind you of your strength, growth, and the lessons you’ve learned along the way.

    Life often moves in cycles. We go from good times to bad, and sometimes, even worse. When we’re at our worst—those moments that feel like hell—there’s only one thing we can do: keep moving forward. As Rodney Atkins once sang:

    “If you’re goin’ through hell, keep on going

    Don’t slow down, if you’re scared, don’t show it

    You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there.”

    Each day, we must rise, however difficult it may be, and face what lies ahead. There will be days when opening your eyes is the win. Days when getting out of bed feels impossible. That’s normal. But it can’t become the norm. We must continue.

    Sometimes, life feels unbearable. Still, we are not powerless. While we can’t control everything, we can control our actions—and that means we can change the direction of our lives. We can choose to see life as an opportunity, not an obligation.

    Of course, that’s easier said than done. And yes, sometimes we need help. When we’re deep in a hole, climbing out can feel unrealistic, even pointless. But that’s your mind lying to you. There is a way out—and it starts with one small step. A shift in perspective.

    Ryan Holiday, reflecting on the Stoics, wrote:

    “You keep going. You do your best. Even if life has kicked the crap out of you. Even if someone has twisted your insides up. Even if you’re depressed. Even if you’re anxious. Even if you’re tired, so tired. Even if nobody knows. Even if nobody understands.”

    One of the hardest things is feeling like no one understands what you’re going through. You feel alone. But even though it’s frustrating, most people will listen. They might not have all the answers—but speaking your truth is a powerful step forward.

    Don’t be afraid to reach out. Be brave. Keep moving forward. Over time, your thoughts won’t hold you back. They’ll become the wind behind you, helping you move ahead.

    The mind is complex. Life is complex. You are complex. But thankfully, there are countless ways to manage, grow, and heal.

    Keep going.

    Take care.

  • Time Is Limited—Use It Well

    The clock never stops ticking—no matter what we do. The sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening. One day, each of us will be gone. That’s one of life’s few certainties.

    With that in mind, we should treat every day as a gift. Once time passes, we can’t get it back. The average human life lasts about 31,000 days. What will you do with yours?

    Will you waste it on petty arguments with strangers online? Will you hold on to that grudge? Will you keep feeling envious of others? Or will you move past the arguments, the grudges, and the envy—and finally start living your life?

    Life is about meaningful experiences—with the people who bring us joy, or with nature itself. It’s not about convincing strangers to live by your values. That’s a waste of time. The truth is, not everyone will see the world the way you do—and that’s okay. Don’t waste your energy arguing or trying to change them. Be curious. Be understanding.

    Some people are rude and obnoxious. Let them be. You don’t have to let their actions affect your peace by pulling you into arguments or drama. Many of us waste precious time on distractions like these—often because we haven’t yet figured out who we are.

    That’s why self-discovery is so important.

    As Ryan Holiday said:

    “Life is very short. Too short for silly arguments, too short for beating your head against the wall, too short to try to understand things that don’t matter, that are not asking to be understood by you. Leave them alone. Focus on what you have to do. Don’t get implicated in ugliness.”

    Start by trying new things. Write about how you feel. Meditate. These are small but powerful ways to discover who you are and what you love. Keep an open mind. Don’t dismiss something just because it doesn’t “seem like you.” Listen to the people who want to help you—and learn to ignore the naysayers. (Easier said than done, I know.)

    But go out there and live. Don’t get sucked into petty distractions.

    Time is ticking.

    Take care.