Feel The Wave

Where you begin your personal growth journey.

Author: feelthewave2022

  • Character Is Revealed Through Your Work

    Character Is Revealed Through Your Work

    There are many things we cannot control in life. One thing we can control is how we do things and how we perceive them. This includes our work, our reactions, and our character.

    If we are miserable with the work we do, part of that responsibility falls on us. It is not entirely our boss’s fault or our colleagues’ fault. We decide how we show up every day. We need to ask ourselves how we can make things better and how we can become the best at what we do, regardless of what that work may be.

    There was a janitor who cleaned under rugs, behind furniture, and behind doors. His supervisor noticed the extra effort and became curious about why he went through so much trouble when no one ever looked in those places.

    The janitor responded that he looked there and he knew.

    Although it took him longer to complete his work, he did it well. He believed his purpose was to ensure people felt clarity and freshness whenever they entered a room in the office building. He focused on what he could control and took pride in it.

    These are powerful habits to develop because they translate into every aspect of life. If we can do something well even when it does not fully motivate us, imagine what we can accomplish when we find something we truly love.

    It does not matter what type of job someone has. Every role matters and every task should be done properly because our work impacts the people around us. When everyone performs their role well, people begin to work in sync and create a healthy flow together. This leads to a stronger work environment and often produces great accomplishments.

    If you think the person picking up the garbage around the office is not important, imagine if they stopped doing it for a month. You would quickly gain an appreciation for the value they bring.

    Everyone plays a role. How you do your job is within your control.

    Whatever you do, do it well — not for others, but for yourself.

    You do not control much in this life, so why not take full control of your effort and make something meaningful out of it?

    Take care.

  • You Become What You Think

    Imagine knowing that you can change who you are simply by changing your thoughts. By thinking differently, you can transform yourself—for better or for worse. The mind is a powerful tool. It controls your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours.

    Negative thoughts often roam through our minds unnoticed. We’re usually unaware of them because they’re masters of disguise. They lurk in a sea of thoughts, camouflaged and sporadic, making them hard to detect. Over time, they become so familiar that we barely realize they’re there.

    One way to become more aware of these thoughts is through meditation. When you meditate, you start to notice your internal dialogue. You catch yourself saying, “I can’t,” “No one will listen to you,” “Don’t be ridiculous,” or “Why are you even trying?” Without realizing it, this subconscious self-talk creates self-doubt and can quietly cause you to abandon your goals. Taking the time to listen to your thoughts helps you identify the triggers behind negative thinking.

    Imagine someone you trust—a parent, sibling, or close friend—speaking to you the way you speak to yourself negatively every single day. How would you respond to that person? You would likely confront them and correct the untruths. Another helpful strategy for managing negative self-talk is giving that voice a name or a face. Separating it from your true self allows you to talk back to it as if it were someone else.

    Identifying your triggers and addressing negative thoughts is only half the battle. The next step is shifting your mindset toward empowering thoughts such as “I can,” “Helping one person is worth it,” or “You won’t know unless you try.” Take charge of your thought patterns. Lead your thoughts. When you catch yourself slipping into negativity, flip the thought into a positive one and practice gratitude.

    The journey won’t be a straight path. There will be ups and downs, and at times it may feel like you’re not progressing at all. What matters most is staying aware of your thoughts and noticing when negativity appears. Each time you catch yourself, it becomes easier to recognize and redirect. With practice, you’ll learn to quiet the negative voice and build confidence. Bad days will still happen, but they will become far less frequent.

    As the saying goes, “You are what you eat.” Just as true: you are what you think.

    Take care.

  • Why Fixed Timelines Fail—and What to Do Instead

    When you set a goal or create a vision, it’s helpful to write out a plan, establish a direction, and break things down into smaller steps. While having a vision and setting goals is valuable, assigning a fixed timeline to every step can be inconvenient and, at times, unrealistic.

    Timelines are often based on past experience—yours or someone else’s. They assume that what happened before will reflect what will happen now. But when your goal involves something you’ve never done, or something that has never been done, past experience becomes less reliable. You have no idea how long things will take, how complex they may be, or what obstacles might surface along the way. At that point, you’re guessing the timeline, and your lack of knowledge also makes it harder to accurately define each step. There is pressure of waiting for the perfect moment.

    Creating timelines is easy during the planning phase because it’s difficult to imagine the roadblocks your project might encounter. Even if you try to anticipate challenges, it’s possible—and likely—that you will miss a few. So when you suddenly realize you’ve spent three-quarters of your planned time on the second step of six, and your original timeline no longer fits, pressure quickly builds. You are overloading yourself with unrealistic expectations. You start doubting whether your goal is worth pursuing, questioning your abilities, and feeling frustrated.

    Setting timelines for an entire project creates unnecessary pressure, especially if they’re not grounded in facts. Steps may need to be reorganized, added, or removed entirely, and this naturally affects the timeline. Because of this, rigid start-to-finish timelines are not ideal. You need iterative and flexible planning. A better approach is to divide your project into phases, create smaller timelines, and adjust them as you move forward. Focusing on one step at a time allows you to gain knowledge, improve accuracy, and better predict future timelines—without the pressure.

    Once you complete a step, take time to reflect on how it went. What worked well? What could be improved? Carry that knowledge into your next phase. Integrating feedback from previous steps helps you avoid repeating mistakes. Although this process may seem slower at first, it saves significant frustration later on when unexpected issues arise.

    Give it a try.

    Take care.

  • When Everything Feels Right But You Don’t

    The conditions to start your day are perfect. You got a good night’s sleep, your morning shower is warm, the sun is shining, the coffee is brewing, and you’re not rushed to get anywhere. You couldn’t have planned a better start to your day.

    But something feels off. Despite the perfect morning, a heaviness lingers. There’s a weight on your shoulders you can’t shake. What’s going on? Sometimes the world outside is calm and bright, but inside, there are raging rapids trying to break free. These are the complexities of our emotions.

    You go to an event with friends, smiling as if nothing’s wrong, but internally you’re a volcano ready to erupt. You reach this point because you can’t quite express what’s going on inside. How could you, when even you don’t fully understand it? And if you’re honest, that’s not the only reason. You worry that others won’t understand—that they’ll think you’re strange, laugh at you, or turn away.

    But any internal turmoil has an expiration date, whether you like it or not. If you don’t release it in a healthy way, it will find its own way out. The good news is there are ways to let that chaos go—and it all starts with you.

    The first step is sharing your thoughts with yourself. Write them down, or speak them aloud in front of a mirror. At first, your feelings may seem unclear, but with time, you’ll begin to articulate what’s really going on and why. Eventually, you’ll feel ready to share with someone else. Start simple and general to see how it feels and gauge how the person reacts. Most likely, the person you choose will listen—and that alone will lift a weight from your shoulders.

    You can also express yourself by saying something as simple as, “I’m not feeling well today. I don’t know why, but I’m not 100%.” Writing can also help you process emotions, recognize triggers, and notice behavioural patterns. Over time, you’ll learn how to avoid situations that unsettle you.

    “Practice makes perfect,” as the saying goes—but no one is perfect. We’re all practicing something to get better, and that includes expressing ourselves. Some days, your words will flow easily; other days, they won’t. The important thing is that you tried.

    Remember, you’re not alone in feeling this way. Even if others don’t fully understand what you’re going through, they’ll know that you’re not okay and will likely listen. Express yourself kindly, and people will open their hearts.

    Be courageous.

    Take care.

  • The Stories We Tell Ourselves: How Inner Narratives Shape Our Reality

    The mind doesn’t distinguish between the stories we tell ourselves—whether they’re fiction or non-fiction. This is often referred as cognitive distortions. What we repeat becomes our reality. If you keep telling yourself you’re not good enough, guess what? You’ll never feel good enough.

    This doesn’t only apply to how we see ourselves; it also affects how we see others. When you judge someone without truly knowing them, your judgment becomes your reality of who they are, regardless of what they achieve. If you believe someone isn’t smart enough, you’ll never see them as competent—even when they accomplish something remarkable. You’ll convince yourself they were lucky or had help. In your mind, there was simply no way they could have achieved something great.

    Our thought patterns can quietly make us miserable. From the outside, no one may notice—but inside, you can feel the struggle and unhappiness. Eventually, you realize something is wrong, and that something must change.

    The first step is to get to know yourself better. You can do this through meditation, journaling, or both. These practices help you recognize behavioural patterns and uncover recurring emotions.

    For example, while journaling, you might notice feelings of envy or jealousy. When those emotions arise, ask yourself why. If you feel jealous of friends or coworkers who’ve accomplished great things—and believe those achievements were handed to them while you were more deserving—dig deeper. It might take time to sit with those uncomfortable answers, but stay with the process. Eventually, you may realize that those same friends and coworkers worked incredibly hard to achieve what they have.

    How would you know if they worked hard? Ask. Be curious about their work ethic and process. Curiosity opens the mind—it helps you see that you can’t control what others do, only what you do. As long as you keep growing, you’ll not only feel happier but also find joy in others’ success.

    Learn to accept things as they are. No one is perfect. We all have our own mix of strengths and weaknesses, and that’s okay. Learn to use your strengths to help others and ask for help when you struggle. There’s no shame in seeking support.

    No one can be great at everything. Life itself is a team effort. Raising children is teamwork—even for single parents. Children go to school, play with friends, join sports teams, and learn life lessons along the way.

    Every great athlete has coaches and teammates who help them become their best selves. Every successful business leader has mentors and colleagues who guide and support them. We all start as beginners—some just progress a little faster than others. We can all achieve greatness if we stay focused, put in the effort, and celebrate others along the way.

    Be honest with yourself. Tell your story as it truly is—and remember, you can always change it if you don’t like how it’s unfolding.

    Take care.

  • Great Team Member Traits for Success

    Great Team Member Traits for Success

    We’ve all been part of a team — in sports, at school, or at work. Even your family and community are forms of teams. Every member has a role to play, and some naturally take on more than others. In larger groups, it’s often hard to see who isn’t contributing because individual efforts blend into the crowd. But in smaller settings, especially at work, it quickly becomes clear when someone isn’t pulling their weight.

    Unmotivated Team Member

    Most of us know what it’s like to have a team member who doesn’t do their part, misses deadlines, or blames others. It creates stress and frustration for everyone else. Over time, that lack of accountability becomes discouraging, and depending on that teammate feels pointless.

    If you’re honest, maybe you’ve been that person once — making excuses or missing your own commitments. That’s okay, as long as you learn from it. One of the most common excuses people give is that they were waiting on someone else for information. If that’s the case, plan for it next time. Build it into your timeline, ask sooner, and follow up early so you can stay on track. It’s not always ideal, but it’s part of learning how to work well with others.

    The Ideal Team

    So what does an ideal team look like? It’s made up of great team members. But what exactly makes someone a great team member?

    A great team member loves what they do. They stay curious, eager to learn, and continue to grow even after mastering the basics of their role. They embrace change, collaborate openly, and share their honest opinions — whether they agree or disagree. Great team members want the best for everyone, including themselves, and take responsibility for their mistakes. Their strong work ethic sets a standard that inspires others.

    A great team member brings a sense of joy to the group. They freely share ideas instead of holding them back out of fear. They show up authentically and accept others as they are. A great member will communicate honestly — if they can’t meet a deadline, they say so early, not after someone asks for an update. They build trust by being transparent and reliable.

    Being A Good Team Member

    Strive to be that teammate every day. Keep learning and trying new things, even when failure is possible — because growth often comes from risk. Of course, you’re human. Not every day will be full of energy or enthusiasm. You’ll have off days, and that’s when great teammates step in to support you. Appreciate their help and remember — those days don’t last forever.

    As long as the team stays balanced, with most members engaged and inspired, it will thrive. That’s how great teams — and great team members — are made.

    Take care.

  • The Power of Accountability: How Taking Ownership Transforms Work and Leadership

    The Power of Accountability: How Taking Ownership Transforms Work and Leadership

    The word accountability seems to be more and more present nowadays. Maybe it was always spoken around me, but it fell on deaf ears. For a long time, accountability wasn’t part of my vocabulary, and I paid little attention to it. Now, whenever I hear the word, it’s like a school bell ringing — a signal to pay attention. After hearing it often and studying what it truly means, it has become part of me and part of my vocabulary. Today, I hold myself accountable for my work and my actions.

    Accountability taught me to stop blaming others. It removes what I call the “but” factor: I could have finished this on time, but… That excuse helps no one — it just leaves the work incomplete. If something doesn’t go as planned, whether I’m leading or not, it’s on me to figure out why. Could I have done something differently? Could I have started an extra discussion? Sent a reminder email? Without accountability, I wouldn’t even ask these questions — I would simply blame others and expect them to figure it out. With accountability, I’ve learned that it’s the little things that push a project forward.

    When I hold myself accountable, I become more focused and committed to achieving results because I don’t want to make excuses for falling short. Accountability also gives me a sense of ownership and responsibility for the outcome — whether I’m leading the project or simply contributing. Whatever my role, I aim to perform to the best of my ability. It has also made me realize that every part of a project is valuable and contributes to the overall success.

    Accountability removes the stress of worrying about what others are doing because it shifts your focus to what you can control. You can only do so much, and as long as you give it your all, you’ve done your part.

    I realized the impact I had on my team when I began taking accountability for my tasks. I noticed that they, in turn, became more accountable for theirs. My mindset shifted. My communication with team members became clearer and more thoughtful. Instead of simply stating what needed to be done, I explained how each task connected to our broader vision. I also noticed that accountability fostered honest and respectful communication within the team. Colleagues became more comfortable acknowledging when they fell short or needed support — because accountability was shared among us all.

    Honest and respectful communication showed that team members cared about one another’s work and how it impacted their own. This led to a stronger sense of responsibility: no one wanted to let the others down, and people asked for help when they needed it.

    It all started with me as a leader. I have to hold myself accountable for everything I do and lead by example. It’s not always easy — sometimes I still catch myself slipping into the blame game. But I’m grateful when my colleagues call me out with honest conversations. It can be hard to hear in the moment, but I always appreciate it afterward. Don’t blame others. Instead, ask yourself how you can improve the process next time. Be accountable.

    Take care.

  • From Employee to Leader: Embracing the Transition to Management

    Becoming a manager for the first time feels like standing at the edge of a cliff.

    You might be thrilled, anxious, or completely unsure if you’re ready to lead. Sometimes, the opportunity is something you’ve worked hard for. Other times, it’s handed to you unexpectedly. Either way, the shift from employee to manager brings questions, doubt, growth—and ultimately, the chance to become the kind of leader others saw in you all along.

    The Transition: From Peer to Manager

    Some of us will go through the transition from employee to manager during our careers. Some barely notice when it happens, while others clearly remember the moment and the months that followed. This transition can feel both terrifying and exhilarating.

    • Some can’t wait for it to happen.
    • Others aren’t sure it’s the right path.
    • Everyone experiences it differently.

    When it comes to management, you can choose to embrace it or hesitate—but the decision to move up often isn’t entirely yours. It’s usually made by someone who sees potential in you. Sometimes you’re not even considering leadership, but your supervisor knows you’re ready—even when you don’t.

    The “What Ifs” of New Leadership

    When you’re suddenly placed in a management role, your mind can spin with anxiety. The “what ifs” start piling up:

    What if I make the wrong decision? What if I embarrass myself? What if I’m not good at it? What if no one likes me?

    These thoughts are normal. In fact, they show that you care. Most of the time, what you’re really experiencing is self-doubt—not incompetence.

    The good news? You’re not alone. In lower-level management, most employees want the team to succeed. And that means helping the team lead. Your peers and supervisors are usually ready to support you. You just have to ask.

    Reflect and Learn

    A few months into your new role, take time to reflect on those early days.

    • Were your decisions really as bad as you feared?
    • Did you actually embarrass yourself—or were you overly critical?
    • Were there any moments you truly enjoyed?

    It’s okay to be uncomfortable with the answers. What matters most is that you’re learning. No matter your role, mistakes will happen. They’re not signs of failure—they’re part of the growth process.

    When the Next Opportunity Comes

    When the next promotion or leadership opportunity arises, fear might creep in again. That’s okay. But instead of letting it stop you, lean into what you’ve already experienced.

    • Remember the wins—big and small.
    • Think about how far you’ve come.
    • Reflect on the help you received and the resilience you built.

    No one succeeds in leadership alone—and no one is expected to. We’re all still learning, and the smartest leaders know how to lean on others.

    Surround Yourself With Support

    The best way to grow into any leadership role is to build a support system of:

    • Colleagues
    • Peers
    • Coaches
    • Mentors

    These people will help you navigate the unknowns, build confidence, and bring out the best in your leadership.

    Final Thought

    Leadership is less about having all the answers and more about being willing to grow, learn, and ask for help. When the call to management comes, trust that you don’t have to be perfect—you just have to be open.

    Take care.

  • Success Happens One Step at a Time

    When we think of success, we often overlook the hard work that made it possible. We don’t see the struggles, the late nights, or the missed outings. We only see the outcome—how effortless it all seems now. We assume they were born with it, that it must have been easy for them, because they make it look so simple. But what’s truly impressive isn’t just where they are—it’s how they got there.

    In fact, most of the greatest people to ever live were obsessed with improving their craft. The best athletes, actors, and business leaders weren’t always the best. Some were even the worst on their teams when they started. What they all had in common was that they showed up every day, committed to getting better than they were yesterday. They competed with themselves, not the person beside them.

    As Marcus Aurelius said: “Action by action.” You start with one action. Once you master it, you add another, and then another. Over time, you stack those small actions until they become something massive. What once felt difficult becomes a habit—and eventually, second nature. The process isn’t complicated. Practice one action a day. Gain one step a day.

    Eventually, this consistency becomes part of who you are. Missing parties or events won’t seem like a sacrifice when you’re focused on your craft—because it’s your passion. You’ll be obsessed with getting better. You’ll work late nights and long weekends. And one day, you’ll wake up in the spotlight. People will look at you and say, “That person must have been born with it,” or “They got lucky.” You’ll be called an overnight success.

    With all the attention, remember where you started. Stay humble. All great people began at the bottom. When you reach the pinnacle of success, take a moment to appreciate the work it took to get there. Let it remind you what it takes to stay there.

    Take it one day at a time. Keep moving forward and keep learning. You’ll get to where you want to be. Just remember: the process is not glamorous.

    Take care.

  • Overcoming Public Speaking Anxiety

    Your heart is racing. Your hands are shaking and sweaty. You take a gulp of water because your mouth is dry. You wipe your forehead with your forearm and pace back and forth with clenched fists. Sound familiar?

    These are common reactions before speaking in front of an audience. For some, the audience might be five people; for others, it could be a thousand. Regardless of the number, the intense feelings are real—though they might show up in different ways.

    That used to be me a few years ago. Whether I was presenting to five team members or fifty, my body would react the same—tense and anxious. It didn’t matter how much I prepared beforehand. What mattered, or at least what felt overwhelming, was being the center of attention. All eyes and ears were on me. I put so much pressure on myself that I secretly hoped meetings would be canceled. That way, I might avoid presenting altogether. If the meeting was rescheduled, maybe I could make an excuse and say I was unavailable. Voilà—no more presentation!

    But why did I want to escape the presentation in the first place? It wasn’t because I was unprepared or didn’t understand the topic. It was my thought pattern. My mind would spiral into worst-case scenarios, many of them irrational:

    “What if my pants fall down?”

    “What if I have a panic attack?”

    Other thoughts were more realistic but still anxiety-inducing:

    “What if I pronounce a word incorrectly and people laugh?”

    “What if I trip walking to the podium?”

    Instead of focusing on preparing myself and my content, I obsessed over these fears. Eventually, I realized that if any of those mishaps did happen, I could choose to lean into them. Laugh at myself. Embrace the moment. Nobody’s perfect. And more often than not, the audience respects you more for owning your mistakes than trying to hide them. That mindset helped—but the anxiety still lingered.

    I got tired of feeling anxious. Even though I wasn’t presenting often, I wanted to change how I felt about public speaking. I came to a key realization: the reason I felt so nervous was that I wasn’t exposed to it enough. If I wanted to grow in my career, I needed to be comfortable speaking in public. And to do that, I needed more practice—not just in formal presentations, but in everyday moments. I needed to start being comfortable with being uncomfortable.

    Simply introducing myself in meetings was a good start. At work, formal presentation opportunities were limited, so I created my own. I started presenting updates about my projects to my team. I volunteered to organize workplace events, which gave me the chance to meet new people—and even introduce some of the guests. Just the act of speaking with unfamiliar faces helped build my confidence. It was like training in small steps.

    This extended into my personal life as well. I began volunteering to help with my kids’ soccer practices. That meant being around people I didn’t know and occasionally stepping into the spotlight. Each of these experiences helped reduce the fear and replaced it with something new: comfort.

    Now, I feel much more at ease when presenting. I even experiment with different delivery styles to see what works best. The overwhelming anxiety is gone. What remains is a sense of excitement—and just a small sliver of nervous energy. But I welcome that. It means I care about what I’m saying.

    My next step is to keep refining the craft. Things like:

    • How long should the presentation be?
    • What content is most relevant for the audience?
    • When should I pause?
    • How do I transition smoothly between ideas?
    • Where should I look?
    • What’s the best body language?
    • How do I open and close strong?

    There’s a lot to learn, but I’m taking it one step at a time. And that’s what makes it fun—it’s a journey of continuous improvement.

    So go out there and give yourself a chance to grow. Say yes to that presentation. Take the opportunity, even if it scares you. You might regret it the night before, but if you’re prepared and approach it as a learning experience, you’ll have nothing to fear. And once it’s over, you’ll be proud you did it.

    Go get it.

    Take care.