Feel The Wave

Where you begin your personal growth journey.

Author: feelthewave2022

  • Creativity Is a Discipline: How to Implement the Art of Creativity in Everyday Life

    Creativity Is a Discipline: How to Implement the Art of Creativity in Everyday Life

    Everyone is creative. Anyone can create something if they truly want to. The difference between everyday people and those we call artists is not talent — it is desire. Artists possess a deep urge to express themselves and to be vulnerable by sharing what they feel, see, smell, or hear.

    Creativity becomes powerful when it aligns with your values, curiosity, and interests.

    For some, creating is not optional — it is part of who they are. What pushes someone to create is different for everyone, but it must first come from within. External validation and monetization are not inherently bad, but they cannot be the primary force driving us forward. In the beginning, no one has an audience. Something internal pushes them to create and share — passion, discipline, curiosity, or the desire to improve. Money is rarely the starting point.

    Wherever you are in your creative journey, you may find yourself working in an environment that does not inspire you. Still, there are always opportunities to integrate creativity into your current situation. Step beyond your job description. Look for ways to incorporate your passion into what you already do.

    Work on your creative endeavours after your day job. Keep the momentum alive. If your job does not challenge you, perhaps it is time to consider change — but that decision takes courage and preparation. Do not let that reality become an excuse to neglect your creative ambitions.

    You cannot cultivate your highest potential without pushing your boundaries.

    If you want to be a writer, start a newsletter at work. If you want to speak in front of crowds, volunteer to present to colleagues or senior management. Practice consistently. Get your repetitions in.

    When you intentionally weave creativity into your daily life, you begin enjoying your days more. You grow faster. You learn faster. And you move closer to the person you are becoming.

    Do not shy away from the opportunities that stretch you.

    Get out there and do what you love — even if it is not part of your job description. Make it happen for yourself.

    Take care.

  • The Hard Way to Love Your Life

    The Hard Way to Love Your Life

    Wake Up With Intention

    Every day is an opportunity to get better. Each morning you wake up, you get the chance to do what you love. You get to work on your craft. But some mornings don’t feel inspiring. You would rather stay in bed under warm covers.

    It happens. We can’t operate at 100% all the time. But ask yourself: Is lying under warm covers the dream? I doubt it.

    The Cost of a Slow Start

    When you wake up later than expected, it doesn’t feel good. You rush. You stress. You feel anxious over the simplest tasks. You can’t enjoy your shower. You don’t taste your breakfast. You start your day overwhelmed and critical of everything around you — even though you created the situation.

    You blame the world for what you caused. And then tomorrow, the cycle repeats.

    That’s why it’s important to review your day — from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed. Awareness breaks patterns. If you don’t identify your mistakes, you repeat them. Loving your life requires intention.

    Easy Now, Hard Later

    If you want an easy life, you must be willing to do the hard things. Wake up when the alarm rings. Make the tough decision. Have the uncomfortable conversation. Do the work.

    If you want a hard life, keep choosing what’s easy. Drift. Avoid. Delay. It’s like floating in a lazy river. The current carries you wherever it wants. You don’t decide. You don’t steer. And everyone who drifts long enough ends up in the same place:

    Regret.

    Regret for not taking ownership.

    Regret for not trying.

    Regret for playing small.

    Wouldn’t you rather explore? Then get out of the river.

    The Struggle Is Ancient

    This struggle isn’t new. Even Marcus Aurelius wrote about the difficulty of getting out of bed. As emperor of Rome, he had every excuse to stay under warm covers and let others serve him.

    Instead, he reminded himself:

    “At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: I have to go to work — as a human being.”

    Life isn’t about comfort. It’s about experience. It’s about learning. Growing. Becoming better than you were yesterday.

    Go Live

    Loving your life doesn’t happen by accident. It happens through small, disciplined choices. Get up. Do the hard thing. Write stories worth telling. One day, your kids and grandkids will ask about your life. Give them something to hear.

    Take care.

  • The Responsibility of Leadership: Why Gossip and Poor Feedback Destroy Workplace Culture

    The Responsibility of Leadership: Why Gossip and Poor Feedback Destroy Workplace Culture

    We know gossip isn’t good in the workplace but we sometimes don’t even know we do it. We must be aware of what we say, especially the more senior we become in the workplace. The more visible you become and the higher you rise in authority, the more weight your words carry. With that visibility comes influence—especially over those who work closely with you. Every comment, reaction, and decision has a ripple effect.

    This is something every leader must remember.

    Leadership is not just about responsibility for results. It is responsibility for tone, culture, and direction. A casual remark from a leader can carry more impact than a carefully prepared speech from someone without authority. Influence is powerful—and it must be handled with care.

    A leader must always be aware of who they are speaking to, what they are discussing, and the words they choose. There are respectful ways to say what needs to be said. Gossip is not one of them.

    Leaders should follow a simple rule: if you have nothing constructive to say, say nothing at all.

    Why Gossip Destroys Culture

    Gossip leads nowhere. It is a counterproductive workplace behaviour that damages culture and erodes mutual respect.

    Trust is essential in any work environment. When people speak negatively about colleagues or senior management, that trust begins to erode. And once trust is broken, rebuilding it is difficult and slow.

    Leaders set the standard. If a leader engages in gossip—even subtly—it signals that this behaviour is acceptable. Over time, that standard becomes part of the culture.

    A healthy workplace requires psychological safety. Employees must feel secure enough to share ideas, raise concerns, and admit mistakes without fear of humiliation or retaliation. Gossip undermines that safety. It creates uncertainty and divides teams. Open communication is the antidote.

    Leaders must model honesty and vulnerability. Difficult conversations should happen directly and respectfully. Encouraging team members to collaborate on projects can also strengthen relationships and build mutual understanding between colleagues. Culture is not built through policies. It is built through behaviour.

    The Responsibility of Feedback

    People may vent frustrations. Leaders need to be careful. What might be overlooked in others is amplified in someone with authority. A careless comment from a leader can discourage, embarrass, or create resentment—even if that was never the intention. Leadership requires discipline.

    Constructive feedback is one of the most important responsibilities of a leader. When done properly, it develops people. When done poorly, it diminishes them.

    Effective feedback must be specific, fair, and consistent across all team members. Vague direction or inconsistent standards create confusion, increase tension, and often lead to conflict.

    Timing and setting matter just as much as content. Public criticism rarely motivates. In most cases, it damages confidence and trust. Feedback should be delivered thoughtfully, in the right environment, with the goal of growth—not control.

    Leaders must also avoid assumptions. If someone makes a mistake or takes an unexpected approach, the first step is curiosity, not judgment. A conversation to understand their thought process will always be more productive than speculation. 

    What Leaders Can and Cannot Do

    There are certain behaviours that may go unnoticed among employees but are magnified in leaders. 

    Employees might complain occasionally. Leaders cannot make it a habit.

    Employees may react emotionally. Leaders must remain steady.

    Employees might speak impulsively. Leaders must be deliberate.

    This is part of accepting the title. Leadership does not grant more freedom. It requires greater restraint. It demands emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and the willingness to hold yourself to a higher standard—even when it is uncomfortable.

    Leadership Is a Discipline

    Leadership is not easy. It is a continuous learning process because you are guiding individuals with different personalities, experiences, expectations, and motivations. No workplace is perfect. No leader is perfect.

    But one truth remains constant: gossip destroys culture and collaboration, while open communication and honest, constructive feedback strengthen them.

    The workplace reflects the behaviour of its leaders. If you want respect, demonstrate it. If you want trust, protect it. If you want collaboration, model it.

    Leadership is influence. And influence is a responsibility.

    Take care.

  • Life Is Hard, But It’s Also Beautiful

    Life Is Hard, But It’s Also Beautiful

    Life is filled with challenges. Some people face far greater difficulties than others, while some experience fewer. Life exists on a spectrum. We are all different, shaped by our upbringing, beliefs, and environment.

    Humanity has faced challenges since the beginning of mankind. Many of those early struggles no longer exist—such as staying warm, finding food during winter, certain diseases, and basic shelter. Every generation, however, faces its own set of problems. Today, we experience longer and more frequent natural disasters, newly emerging diseases, and technology-dependent challenges. Regardless of how we see the world, challenges will always exist. We cannot escape them.

    However, there is much to be celebrated about life. It contains many beautiful elements. Life can be wonderful and joyful if we are willing to work at it. We must accept that challenges exist while choosing to focus on the good moments and meaningful experiences. Mother Nature can be cruel, but it can also be exquisitely beautiful. The world can create new diseases, yet it can also come together to develop vaccines that save millions of lives.

    Then there are the small, wonderful things in life that are often taken for granted: sunsets and sunrises, a stranger holding the door open, hitting every green light on the way home, the smell of coffee in the morning, children playing and laughing. Life is hard, but it is also beautiful. Don’t miss it.

    At its core, every challenge feels the same within us. The ego convinces us that it is impossible because it feels dangerous. We must move past this barrier and remind ourselves that we are safe. Challenges exist to help us grow and become better versions of ourselves. Don’t let your mind fool you. Accept the challenge. Don’t let life define itself as hard.

    Take care.

  • The Diderot Effect: Why One Purchase Leads to Many

    The Diderot Effect: Why One Purchase Leads to Many

    What Is the Diderot Effect?

    The Diderot Effect describes a pattern where someone buys items they never intended to purchase, simply because a new item feels like it requires accessories or complementary pieces to feel complete.

    For example, if a dishwasher stops working, someone may decide to buy a new one. Once it’s installed, they might suddenly notice that the refrigerator and stove no longer “match” the new appliance. And voilà, before they know it, they also have a new refrigerator and stove.

    ⸻

    How It Shows Up in Everyday Life

    The effect is named after the French philosopher Denis Diderot, who experienced this phenomenon firsthand after receiving an expensive gown.

    When he noticed that the elegance of the gown clashed with his modest possessions, he felt compelled to upgrade the rest of his home. He purchased an expensive writing desk and replaced his straw chair with a leather one. What began as a single gift quietly transformed into a series of costly upgrades.

    ⸻

    Why We Fall Into the Trap

    We are often focused on upgrading and adding, rarely on removing, unless it’s to replace something with a newer version.

    We were once content with what we had, but the moment something new appears, it suddenly feels like we need the entire set. The old no longer feels compatible with the new. It feels out of place. Incomplete.

    Our minds convince us that harmony comes from having everything match, even when nothing was actually broken to begin with.

    ⸻

    A More Intentional Approach

    Before buying something new, ask yourself whether you truly need it. And if you do, ask the same question about its accessories.

    We don’t need to buy everything at once. We can buy the item and live with it for a few weeks before deciding anything else. The old and the new can coexist, our minds simply try to convince us otherwise.

    The ego is powerful. It nudges us toward impulse purchases and whispers that completeness is just one more item away. Sit with the decision. Give it time. More often than not, we’ll realize we don’t need it after all.

    ⸻

    When the New Becomes Old

    Remember that after a few weeks, the new appliance, furniture, or car will no longer feel new. And once that happens, everything around it will feel aligned again.

    What once stood out will simply blend in,without needing to replace everything else.

    Take care.

  • Self control

    Self control

    Being in control of yourself and your emotions is what we strive for. The best of the best in every category, whether that is sports, business, music, have self control. They have tremendous ability to regulate their response to steer clear of undesirable behaviours. In a sense they are leaders in their fields and they are the ones a lot of people look up too. Consequently, they need to be able to lead. If they cannot control themselves, how can they expect to control others.

    By controlling others, I’m not referencing manipulation, rather inspire others, to make them see the vision they set out for the company. If they, as a leader, cannot control themselves, how would anybody respect them and believe anything they have to say.

    Self control is key, it will help you focus on your goal and achieve them at a faster pace. With that said, if you set out to do something, it’s important to not get distracted by activities that will veer you off path of your goals. It will happen that self control is lost from time to time. No one is perfect. We are all humans and indulgence gets the best of us. Don’t be discourage. A setback is a form of test for your self control. Do you indulge more or do you refocus?

    The initial thought of the greatest leaders is they have the answers to all questions, they should know everything and have self control in all situations. However, leaders who presume to have an answer for every question or they are always correct will have a hard time progressing as well as getting respect for their peers.

    Self control is not about knowing everything and assuming you do. Being stoic is about being yourself, expressing how you feel, being vulnerable, being authentic, showing empathy, listening and most of all, indicating that you don’t know everything. Telling your colleagues, family members, friends, when you don’t understand, even when every body else around you seems to understand. Most likely, you aren’t the only one that does not understand.

    Self control is not only important for being a great leader but a great human being. That being said, no one will have self control 100% of the time. The difference between great people in this world and the average person, is great people realize when they lost self control and learn from their mistakes.

    No one is perfect so don’t be too hard on yourself.

    Take care.

  • Stay Poised: The Power of Standing Firm in What You Believe

    Stay Poised: The Power of Standing Firm in What You Believe

    Don’t get pulled into the power of the mob mentality. Have your own thoughts and opinions. Reflect on what others say, take time to analyze the information, and see whether it aligns with your beliefs. Ask yourself what your true thoughts and perspectives are. Don’t agree with everyone in the room just to be accepted. Don’t be a yes-person. It’s okay to have different opinions—that’s what strengthens ideas. How you share your opinion matters too, but that’s a topic for another time.

    Different perspectives, especially on social issues, are valuable. We can agree to disagree and still remain friends. Our differences are what make our thoughts, beliefs, and perspectives unique.

    It’s easy to go along with the crowd when people are passionate about a social issue. You can easily hide within the group and let things be. You might think, “What’s the point? I can’t change their minds, so I might as well join them—even if I don’t believe what they’re saying.”

    That mindset is a recipe for regret. Resisting the urge to follow blindly is the first step. Many others may share your thoughts but still join the crowd simply to avoid conflict. It’s not easy to hold a different opinion from the majority. The attention suddenly shifts to you, and anxiety spikes in that first moment—it takes real courage to stand apart. You step into the unknown, facing the crowd head-on. It’s frightening.

    A great example of someone who stood against the crowd was Mahatma Gandhi. He often defied popular opinion, standing by his principle of nonviolence even when it meant opposing both his followers and the British authorities. As he famously said, “We need to be the change we wish to see in the world.”

    Whether on a large scale like Gandhi or within your circle of friends, there’s a sense of pride after taking that first stand. Once the anxiety fades, you begin to feel empowered. You must stand firm and stay true to what you believe, regardless of the pressure around you. Your responsibility is to remain a good person and not let the crowd turn you into someone you’re not.

    Take care.

  • The Balance Between Selfishness and Generosity: A Life Reflection

    The Balance Between Selfishness and Generosity: A Life Reflection

    Selfish people are everywhere. In fact, we’re all selfish in one way or another. Some people are selfish all the time. Others may only be selfish in specific areas of their lives, and some become selfish when they’re worn down. At times, we all need to prioritize ourselves—especially when we’re not okay—and that kind of selfishness can be necessary.

    What’s harmful, though, is when selfishness becomes someone’s everyday default. These are people who always want everything for themselves, show little consideration for others, and act as if they’re entitled to more. There’s a fine line between ambition and taking from others. The latter often leads to isolation and stress. When you’re only looking out for yourself, trust disappears, and you’re left depending on no one but you. It’s a lonely, constant chase—because in your mind, you can’t afford to lose.

    If everyone acted this way, the world would feel apocalyptic. A place where everyone is out for themselves, with no camaraderie, no joy, no love, and no generosity. It would be every person against the next. Hate and envy would drive people’s actions, and life would feel cold and disconnected.

    But selfishness can be extinguished with generosity, kindness, and love. And the world certainly needs more generosity. You can’t have selfishness without generosity, and vice versa. Opposites exist in balance—and neither can or should exist alone.

    Some degree of selfishness is necessary to protect what you’ve earned and to care for yourself. At the same time, we must also help others. That’s where the balance lies.

    So, what is the perfect balance? There’s no simple answer. It depends on who you are and where you are in life. To add to the complexity, the ratio of selfishness to generosity shifts throughout your lifetime. For example, when you’re a young adult, you might focus on building your wealth or career. Later in life, once you feel secure, you may feel more inclined to give back.

    Wherever you are on that journey, it’s up to you to decide how to strike that balance.

    Like everything in life, the scale of selfishness and generosity tips a little each day. We just need to make sure it doesn’t lean toward selfishness for too long.

    Take care.

  • How to Keep Your Internal Negotiator in Check

    How to Keep Your Internal Negotiator in Check

    Each of us holds an internal negotiator—the voice that whispers, urging us to choose the easier path, like staying in bed, wrapped in the warmth and comfort of our blankets. It asks you why you would ever get up and do something when you could be sleeping all morning. We must remember that as human beings, we are driven by purpose and a mission. We have a purpose and mission to contribute to society and help our fellow human beings. That’s why we get up in the morning. Marcus Aurelius said, “I have to go to work as a human being.” This illustrates how fulfilling our purpose begins with conquering the urge to remain comfortable.

    Today’s world has made it much easier for us to live effortlessly. We can eat prepared meals, take the elevator or use a calculator. There are a lot of different ways to make our lives easier. But at what cost? Technology has given us so much and has taken away so much as well. We do not need to remember anything anymore. Memories, both for children and adults, seem to be fading, as we now rely heavily on smartphones to access all information. 

    It all starts in the morning. We must establish a morning routine and avoid overthinking. Instead, we should focus on simply taking action. Arnold Swarzennegger mentioned that his rule in the morning is ‘don’t think’. This approach helps to silence the internal negotiator, or at least, lull it back to sleep. He said, “make it a rule where you say, ‘Okay, there are certain things that I would do before I start thinking… I’m going to work out before I start thinking.’ Don’t think. Just go.”

    In today’s world, the internal negotiator thrives as technology encourages convenience and instant gratification. It’s become a necessity for us, a crutch we use when we are unsure. We use it to console ourselves when we are bored or want a boost of joy. However, this reliance has a detrimental effect on both our minds and bodies. It all begins with the internal negotiator, the back and forth so many of us not only have in the mornings to wake up but throughout the day with everything else. 

    It’s about taking control of our actions. Although the internal negotiator will always be present, it’s controllable. It’s strongest when we are the weakest and weakest when we are strongest. Therefore it’s important to take care of your body. There is a connection between the body and the mind. Seneca said, “We treat the body rigorously, so that it will not be disobedient to the mind.” Seneca talks about controlling our internal negotiator, just like Arnold talks about not thinking in the morning. 

    Get moving to be strong and inspired. Get moving to be in control of your life and your actions. Do not let your internal negotiator take control. Become the maestro of both your body and mind. 

    Take care. 

  • Find Work That Lights You Up

    Find Work That Lights You Up

    If you’re like most people, you have a day-to-day job that pays you for your services. This job is a big part of your life, so if it’s not something you enjoy, it can make life feel long and unfulfilling.

    According to a Gallup survey, 51% of employed workers say they’re actively looking for a new job. Some employees are “quiet quitting”—still showing up every day, but disengaged and working aimlessly. What’s the point of doing that?

    You have to find what you’re good at—what you love to do—and cultivate it. Anthony de Mello said:

    “You must discover work that you do, not for its utility, but for itself, whether it succeeds or not, whether you are praised for it or not, whether you are loved and rewarded for it or not, whether people know about it and are grateful to you for it or not. How many activities can you count in your life that you engage in simply because they delight you and grip your soul? Find them out, cultivate them, for they are your passport to freedom and to love.”

    Maybe you’re in your job because that’s what you’ve been doing for the last 15 years. You feel comfortable. You’re already on track for your next promotion in a few years. Or maybe you feel like you don’t have any other option—you need the paycheque to survive.

    Whatever your situation, if you’re not enjoying your current work, start thinking about an exit strategy today. Even if you can’t leave right away, it’s not worth dragging out another few years in a role that drains you.

    Find what you’re passionate about and explore how it can apply to your current job—or outside of it. Sometimes, what you love might still exist within your company but in a different function or with a new approach.

    Don’t quit without a plan. Instead, explore your options. Look for ways to align your passions with your work. For example:


    • If you love organizing events, volunteer to plan the office holiday party.

    • If writing excites you, start a monthly internal newsletter about your team’s accomplishments.

    • If you enjoy fitness, organize lunchtime workout sessions.

    These don’t have to be major changes. Start small and find joy in it.

    This is just a temporary phase until you discover work that truly fulfills you. See it as an opportunity to grow and make the most of your time.

    Find your freedom. Integrate it into both your personal and professional life. Be true to yourself—and do what you love.

    Take care.