Feel The Wave

Where you begin your personal growth journey.

Tag: Self-awareness

  • Get to Know Yourself Through Introspection

    Get to Know Yourself Through Introspection

    We live in a world filled with constant noise. From the moment we wake up until we go to bed, something is demanding our attention. Social media, emails, television and endless notifications leave very little room for one simple but essential activity—thinking. We may feel productive because we’re always doing something, but in reality, we’re often just running in place.

    Social media has taken much of our free time hostage. Our minds are constantly being bombarded with information, leaving little opportunity to process our own thoughts. Our brains aren’t designed for a constant stream of input, especially from the artificial light and endless stimulation produced by smartphones, televisions and computer screens. Over time, this can leave us feeling mentally exhausted and disconnected from ourselves.

    Taking time to think—not just about life, but about yourself—is one of the best ways to discover who you truly are. It helps you understand what you enjoy, what gives you energy and what matters most to you. Many people go years without ever taking the time to get to know themselves. Instead, they allow family, friends and even strangers online to influence who they should be. Eventually, they look in the mirror and struggle to recognize the person staring back at them.

    This is where introspection becomes so valuable. Introspection is the process of examining your own thoughts, emotions and experiences with honesty and curiosity. It allows you to step back from the noise of everyday life and better understand what’s happening within you.

    One of the simplest ways to practice introspection is by writing. Writing slows your thinking down. Thoughts that feel scattered in your mind often become much clearer once they’re written on paper. Set aside just two to five minutes each morning and write whatever comes to mind. Don’t worry if it doesn’t make sense at first. Read it back, reflect on it and continue writing. As you practice, you’ll notice your thoughts becoming clearer and your ability to express them improving. Like any skill, learning to put your thoughts into words takes time and repetition. Taking time to write your thoughts not only improves self-awareness but can also strengthen your memory over time.

    As you become more intentional with introspection, you naturally develop greater self-awareness. Self-awareness is the ability to understand yourself and recognize your thoughts, emotions and behaviours. The better you know yourself, the more confident you’ll become in your decisions. Rather than reacting to life, you’ll begin responding with purpose and intention. This sense of clarity often leads to greater peace of mind and improved mental well-being.

    Knowing what you want also makes it easier to recognize what you don’t want. You begin making choices that align with your values instead of simply following expectations or outside influences. People who understand themselves tend to feel more content because their decisions reflect who they truly are rather than who others expect them to be.

    You can’t truly know yourself without asking meaningful questions and taking the time to reflect on the answers. Through introspection and writing, you gain a deeper understanding of what you love, what challenges you and what kind of life you want to build. That understanding becomes the foundation for making decisions that align with your values and bring greater fulfillment.

    Take a few minutes each day to slow down, reflect and write. The better you know yourself, the more intentionally you’ll live.

    Take care.

  • You Always Have a Choice

    You Always Have a Choice

    Sometimes we think we don’t have a choice. We worry, feel stress, and carry doubts, those things are inevitable. To a certain degree, they are part of life, but they don’t need to linger longer than necessary.

    External circumstances may influence how you feel, but they are not the true source of your emotions. You are the one who decides how to respond in certain situations. You are the master of your world.

    Emotions are part of being human, but we can’t allow them to control us. You can do something about your anxiety, your stress, and your shame. It takes work and requires facing things you may not want to confront, but the benefits that come from accepting the realization that you have the power to change yourself are unmatched. Look within yourself and ask why you feel the way you do.

    There are different ways to discover why you react to certain things. The first step is awareness. Once you realize something triggers you, try to look at it objectively. Ask yourself what could be done differently next time. If you tell yourself there’s nothing you can do, you may be lying to yourself. When we react poorly to situations, that reaction is often the very thing we have the power to change.

    There may be nothing you can do to change the event itself, but you always have the ability to change or improve your reaction to it. If you can change something externally, great—go do what needs to be done. But if you can’t, why carry the weight of worry?

    We can’t control external circumstances. We can influence them, but we cannot let ourselves become consumed by them. Instead, we must learn to master our internal thoughts and emotions. When you master the internal game, the external world loses much of its power over you.

    Address the problem where you can actually make a difference: within yourself. External events are rarely the real problem; how we react to them often is. The discomfort resides within us, and that is good news—because it means we can do something about it.

    Take care.

  • Why Knowing Yourself Matters

    Why Knowing Yourself Matters

    Look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see?

    Most of us don’t spend much time analyzing and judging ourselves the way we analyze and judge others. We usually don’t because we believe we already know ourselves inside and out. For the most part, we look in the mirror to identify external flaws. We check whether our hair looks right, our face is clean, and our clothes fit properly.

    But how often do you look inward and examine your thoughts, actions, and habits?

    If your answer was anything other than “often,” it may be time to spend more time reflecting on who you are. We rarely examine our thoughts because we’re convinced we already know the answers. Or we’re afraid of what we might find. Either way, not truly knowing yourself can lead to frustration and uncertainty in your abilities.

    That frustration and uncertainty often show up in how we judge others. We may project our insecurities onto the people around us. We wonder how someone could be so naive or so foolish. We question their decisions and criticize their actions. Yet we rarely apply the same level of scrutiny to ourselves.

    Self-examination is uncomfortable. It’s much easier to identify what everyone else is doing wrong than it is to acknowledge our own shortcomings. We turn a blind eye to our mistakes and avoid confronting the insecurities we’d rather not face.

    Eventually, a part of you will begin asking deeper questions and pulling you toward self-discovery. If you don’t truly know yourself, there will always be unanswered questions lingering in your subconscious. Although they’re there, most of us ignore them until we begin to feel them tugging at us from deep within.

    It’s like looking into a dusty mirror. You can see yourself, but the reflection is blurred. Taking time to think about what you want, what you value, and what you love slowly wipes away the dust. The clearer the mirror becomes, the clearer your understanding of yourself becomes. And the more often you do it, the easier it is to recognize the person staring back at you.

    Once you recognize yourself, you’ll be less tempted to judge others. You’ll become comfortable with who you are, and instead of criticizing, you’ll seek to understand. Your view of the world will change, and you’ll begin to discover more about the people and opportunities around you. You may find possibilities you once believed were meant for others, or opportunities you never noticed at all. As your perspective expands, the world becomes much bigger than you ever imagined.

    Knowing yourself doesn’t just reveal who you are; it opens the door to endless possibilities. The clearer you see yourself, the more clearly you’ll see the world around you.

    Take care.

  • The Stories We Tell Ourselves: How Inner Narratives Shape Our Reality

    The mind doesn’t distinguish between the stories we tell ourselves—whether they’re fiction or non-fiction. This is often referred as cognitive distortions. What we repeat becomes our reality. If you keep telling yourself you’re not good enough, guess what? You’ll never feel good enough.

    This doesn’t only apply to how we see ourselves; it also affects how we see others. When you judge someone without truly knowing them, your judgment becomes your reality of who they are, regardless of what they achieve. If you believe someone isn’t smart enough, you’ll never see them as competent—even when they accomplish something remarkable. You’ll convince yourself they were lucky or had help. In your mind, there was simply no way they could have achieved something great.

    Our thought patterns can quietly make us miserable. From the outside, no one may notice—but inside, you can feel the struggle and unhappiness. Eventually, you realize something is wrong, and that something must change.

    The first step is to get to know yourself better. You can do this through meditation, journaling, or both. These practices help you recognize behavioural patterns and uncover recurring emotions.

    For example, while journaling, you might notice feelings of envy or jealousy. When those emotions arise, ask yourself why. If you feel jealous of friends or coworkers who’ve accomplished great things—and believe those achievements were handed to them while you were more deserving—dig deeper. It might take time to sit with those uncomfortable answers, but stay with the process. Eventually, you may realize that those same friends and coworkers worked incredibly hard to achieve what they have.

    How would you know if they worked hard? Ask. Be curious about their work ethic and process. Curiosity opens the mind—it helps you see that you can’t control what others do, only what you do. As long as you keep growing, you’ll not only feel happier but also find joy in others’ success.

    Learn to accept things as they are. No one is perfect. We all have our own mix of strengths and weaknesses, and that’s okay. Learn to use your strengths to help others and ask for help when you struggle. There’s no shame in seeking support.

    No one can be great at everything. Life itself is a team effort. Raising children is teamwork—even for single parents. Children go to school, play with friends, join sports teams, and learn life lessons along the way.

    Every great athlete has coaches and teammates who help them become their best selves. Every successful business leader has mentors and colleagues who guide and support them. We all start as beginners—some just progress a little faster than others. We can all achieve greatness if we stay focused, put in the effort, and celebrate others along the way.

    Be honest with yourself. Tell your story as it truly is—and remember, you can always change it if you don’t like how it’s unfolding.

    Take care.

  • You Become What You Think

    Imagine knowing that you can change who you are simply by changing your thoughts. By thinking differently, you can transform yourself—for better or for worse. The mind is a powerful tool. It controls your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours.

    Negative thoughts often roam through our minds unnoticed. We’re usually unaware of them because they’re masters of disguise. They lurk in a sea of thoughts, camouflaged and sporadic, making them hard to detect. Over time, they become so familiar that we barely realize they’re there.

    One way to become more aware of these thoughts is through meditation. When you meditate, you start to notice your internal dialogue. You catch yourself saying, “I can’t,” “No one will listen to you,” “Don’t be ridiculous,” or “Why are you even trying?” Without realizing it, this subconscious self-talk creates self-doubt and can quietly cause you to abandon your goals. Taking the time to listen to your thoughts helps you identify the triggers behind negative thinking.

    Imagine someone you trust—a parent, sibling, or close friend—speaking to you the way you speak to yourself negatively every single day. How would you respond to that person? You would likely confront them and correct the untruths. Another helpful strategy for managing negative self-talk is giving that voice a name or a face. Separating it from your true self allows you to talk back to it as if it were someone else.

    Identifying your triggers and addressing negative thoughts is only half the battle. The next step is shifting your mindset toward empowering thoughts such as “I can,” “Helping one person is worth it,” or “You won’t know unless you try.” Take charge of your thought patterns. Lead your thoughts. When you catch yourself slipping into negativity, flip the thought into a positive one and practice gratitude.

    The journey won’t be a straight path. There will be ups and downs, and at times it may feel like you’re not progressing at all. What matters most is staying aware of your thoughts and noticing when negativity appears. Each time you catch yourself, it becomes easier to recognize and redirect. With practice, you’ll learn to quiet the negative voice and build confidence. Bad days will still happen, but they will become far less frequent.

    As the saying goes, “You are what you eat.” Just as true: you are what you think.

    Take care.

  • The Courage to Be Different: Be the Red Thread

    We live in a world driven by attention and likes. We often focus on seeking others’ approval, posting photos that say, ‘Look at me. See how interesting I am. Agree with me. Like me.’ This leads to an unfulfilled life, one that’s dependent on external validation.

    Don’t stand out to be famous or loved by everyone; stand out because you do what you love in your own way. Stand out because you are unique. Just be yourself. Don’t seek attention, but strive to improve what you enjoy every day. Resist the flow of the crowd. Be different. As Agrippinus said to another philosopher, ‘Be the red thread in the sweater, the one that makes the garment beautiful.’

    Being different and going against the flow isn’t easy. It comes with the cost of others looking at you differently, judging, and belittling you. But if you’re able to withstand the initial judgment, it becomes easier, and eventually, it fades. However, this is easier said than done. It takes courage and self-confidence to overcome the judgment.

    The first challenge is facing criticism when you start changing for the better and standing out from others. When people notice your differences, critics emerge, projecting their insecurities onto you in an attempt to bring you down. They envy your confidence in being unique, your courage to be the red thread. Deep down, they wish they had the same resilience to face criticism without letting it affect them.

    Criticism often comes from unexpected places, like those you love and trust most—your family and closest friends. Their criticism isn’t because they don’t want you to succeed; it’s because they fear you might fail, get hurt, or look foolish.

    There will be friends who want you to fail. Don’t take this as a blow, but as a blessing. Being true to yourself helps you weed out fake friends—those who stayed around because of how they benefited from you, not because they valued you for who you are.

    Remember, the people who love you only want to protect you and wish the best for you. Once they see you’re serious about changing and notice the positive impact it has on you, they’ll ease their grip on judgment and criticism. The tension will lift. However, judgment will always be lurking, not just from others but also from within. Trust the process.

    Take care. 

  • How to Keep Your Internal Negotiator in Check

    Each of us holds an internal negotiator—the voice that whispers, urging us to choose the easier path, like staying in bed, wrapped in the warmth and comfort of our blankets. It asks you why you would ever get up and do something when you could be sleeping all morning. We must remember that as human beings, we are driven by purpose and a mission. We have a purpose and mission to contribute to society and help our fellow human beings. That’s why we get up in the morning. Marcus Aurelius said, “I have to go to work as a human being.” This illustrates how fulfilling our purpose begins with conquering the urge to remain comfortable.

    Today’s world has made it much easier for us to live effortlessly. We can eat prepared meals, take the elevator or use a calculator. There are a lot of different ways to make our lives easier. But at what cost? Technology has given us so much and has taken away so much as well. We do not need to remember anything anymore. Memories, both for children and adults, seem to be fading, as we now rely heavily on smartphones to access all information. 

    It all starts in the morning. We must establish a morning routine and avoid overthinking. Instead, we should focus on simply taking action. Arnold Swarzennegger mentioned that his rule in the morning is ‘don’t think’. This approach helps to silence the internal negotiator, or at least, lull it back to sleep. He said, “make it a rule where you say, ‘Okay, there are certain things that I would do before I start thinking… I’m going to work out before I start thinking.’ Don’t think. Just go.”

    In today’s world, the internal negotiator thrives as technology encourages convenience and instant gratification. It’s become a necessity for us, a crutch we use when we are unsure. We use it to console ourselves when we are bored or want a boost of joy. However, this reliance has a detrimental effect on both our minds and bodies. It all begins with the internal negotiator, the back and forth so many of us not only have in the mornings to wake up but throughout the day with everything else. 

    It’s about taking control of our actions. Although the internal negotiator will always be present, it’s controllable. It’s strongest when we are the weakest and weakest when we are strongest. Therefore it’s important to take care of your body. There is a connection between the body and the mind. Seneca said, “We treat the body rigorously, so that it will not be disobedient to the mind.” Seneca talks about controlling our internal negotiator, just like Arnold talks about not thinking in the morning. 

    Get moving to be strong and inspired. Get moving to be in control of your life and your actions. Do not let your internal negotiator take control. Become the maestro of both your body and mind. 

    Take care. 

  • Think of the Unthinkable: Why Facing Hard Truths Makes Life Better

    People tend to take action on hard or complicated tasks only when urgency forces them to. When we believe we still have time, we push things to tomorrow. We procrastinate.

    That’s not ideal, and we all know it. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. So how can we create the urgency we need to take action today? We must think of the unthinkable. If we died tomorrow, would we be satisfied with the life we lived? Could we have done more? This isn’t morbid — it’s purposeful.

    This mindset applies to every area of our lives — our health, our finances, our relationships, and our daily routines. What are we doing to live with intention and get better each day instead of simply getting by?

    Leadership requires the same mindset. Sometimes we need to let people go so they can grow. We must appreciate the time we have with them and recognize it won’t last forever. This isn’t unthinkable — it’s inevitable — and remembering this helps us cherish what we have.

    The same is true for parents whose children leave home for school or move out permanently. A parent who never processed the idea of their child growing up may struggle deeply when the moment arrives. But a parent who appreciated each stage of their child’s life has already thought of the unthinkable. They’ve prepared themselves emotionally in their own way.

    These moments will happen to all of us. We must prepare for them. Instead of pretending they won’t happen — or never thinking about them at all — we need to stay present. We need to be grateful for the opportunities, the people, and the moments we currently have.

    Take care.

  • We Don’t Get Credit for Everything — and That’s Okay

    The most famous people are often known for doing something extraordinary — either remarkable or infamous. People tend to notice only the extremes, and perhaps for good reason. We often divide the world into two halves: good or bad, generous or greedy. Few notice the people in the middle — the “good enough” ones. It’s understandable; quiet goodness isn’t flashy and, frankly, not that interesting to talk about.

    Everyone loves recognition, and it has its place — but that shouldn’t be the intent behind a kind gesture. Instead, it should come from a genuine desire to help. You feel another person’s struggle and know that a little help or encouragement can go a long way.

    That same mindset applies when we measure the value of our actions. We shouldn’t judge their worth on a grand scale. For example, we might think a small donation can’t end child hunger — but it can feed at least one person. That’s enough. That’s a start. It makes a real difference in someone’s life. You might not see it or receive thanks — and if you ever do, that’s just a byproduct. The primary reason is the quiet satisfaction of knowing you made a positive difference and helped make the world a better place.

    Those simple, small actions often go unnoticed because they don’t set us apart. When you’re in the middle, people often overlook the good and focus on the bad. People tend to remember acts of spite or revenge because they attach strong negative emotions to them. Once an emotion is tied to a person, it’s hard to shake. Good or bad, negative emotions feel like stains on the soul — trust gets lost.

    This dynamic isn’t limited to everyday life — it happens in leadership too. There are times when you hold influence or power and use it to inspire others by treating everyone with thoughtfulness and respect, regardless of who they are. Yet people often overlook this because they grow accustomed to a leader’s generosity. Unfortunately, in many cases, power corrupts — it tends to reveal people’s true colours.

    When someone resists that corruption — whether at work or in the community — few celebrate it. Not in the moment, anyway. It’s only appreciated later, when their successor turns out corrupt or different. Only then do we realize that power never corrupted them — they were simply a good human being. You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.

    Ryan Holiday wrote, “You don’t get credit for what you don’t do. You don’t get credit for the fact that you could be worse. You don’t get credit for not breaking societal norms for which the enforcement mechanisms are weak.”

    Whatever position we hold in life, we must do what is right — no matter the circumstance. We must stay honest with ourselves and with society.

    We don’t get credit for everything we do — and that’s okay. Doing what’s right isn’t about recognition; it’s about integrity.

    Take care.

  • Envy: The Mirror We Avoid

    Envy: The Mirror We Avoid

    What is envy?

    Envy is the desire to have what someone else has. It exists on a spectrum between longing and spite.

    On one end, there is longing—wanting what others have without wishing them harm. This type of envy can resemble admiration and even fuel motivation. On the other end, there is spiteful envy—wanting not only what others have, but wishing they didn’t have it at all.

    Envy often stems from attraction, wealth, or competence.

    Why do we envy others?

    We envy others because we believe we should have what they have—or that we deserve it more. But to truly understand our envy, we must ask ourselves a difficult question:

    If we deserve it, can they deserve it too?

    This is where the mind resists. Accepting that both of us may deserve something forces us into comparison. We begin measuring ourselves against others, fearing judgment, and quietly wondering if they are better than us.

    Instead of appreciating what we have, we fixate on what others possess. And when we cannot feel happy for someone else’s success, it often reveals something deeper—something unresolved within us. We avoid confronting it because we are afraid of what we might find.

    When are we envious?

    We are most envious when something in our own lives feels incomplete. If we envy another couple’s relationship, it may reflect gaps in our own. Perhaps we haven’t communicated our needs, yet we expect to feel the same level of happiness we see in others—without doing the work required to get there.

    The same applies to wealth and competence. Seeing someone purchase a new car, for example, might trigger envy. But the real question is: Do we truly want it—or are we reacting to our own financial stress or insecurity? Often, we project outward instead of looking inward. We focus on others rather than addressing what is missing in ourselves.

    Who are we envious of?

    We are rarely envious of celebrities or distant figures. Instead, we envy those closest to us—friends, colleagues, and people within our social circle.

    Why? Because we see them as our equals.

    We believe we are on the same path, the same level, the same “ladder.” And when someone moves ahead, we compare. We measure. We question. But when we are secure in ourselves, that comparison fades. We can recognize their success without diminishing our own worth. We stay focused on our own journey.

    Where does envy exist?

    Envy lives in the mind. It is internal, often invisible to others, and shaped by our own perceptions. While it may show itself externally, the real work must happen within. Sometimes, external conversations are necessary—but only after we’ve done the internal reflection.

    Conclusion

    Everyone feels envy. It is part of being human. Envy often points to something missing—something we haven’t addressed. Instead of resisting it, we should examine it. Because the way forward isn’t outside of us—it’s within. We hold the door. We decide whether to open it.

    Take care.