Feel The Wave

Where you begin your personal growth journey.

Category: Uncategorized

  • When Praise Builds—and When It Breaks

    What is praise? According to Merriam-Webster, it means “to express a favorable judgment of someone.”

    Everyone wants to be appreciated and recognized. Praise is one way to show someone they’re doing well. It also feels rewarding for both the giver and the receiver.

    However, praise can’t be overused.

    Praise is short-lived—it happens in the moment and then fades. While it can make us feel valued, that feeling often disappears unless reinforced. To be effective, praise needs to be used thoughtfully. Too much of it feels insincere. Too little, and people may begin to doubt themselves.

    Praise shouldn’t be meaningless—it should be authentic and specific. While we often focus on individuals’ achievements, it’s even more important to recognize their effort and perseverance.

    Psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on children supports this. She discovered that praising innate traits like intelligence or talent made children less persistent, confident, and resilient.

    Timing also matters. Some people prefer private praise, while others thrive on public recognition. That’s why it’s important to understand your team members—what inspires them, and how they best receive feedback.

    Praise should also stand on its own—not be used to cushion criticism. Timing is everything, and it’s important to remember that confidence isn’t built through external validation. As noted by Dr. Becky Kennedy in Good Inside “confidence cannot be built from external validation or praise.”

    Praise can be especially meaningful when someone has worked hard, shown kindness, or is going through a tough time. In those moments, a few thoughtful words can turn someone’s day around.

    When used correctly, praise is helpful—but it’s also temporary. For lasting growth, encourage, coach, and lead. Giving praise is easy; leading is hard. Know when each is needed.

    Take care.

  • Time Is Limited—Use It Well

    The clock never stops ticking—no matter what we do. The sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening. One day, each of us will be gone. That’s one of life’s few certainties.

    With that in mind, we should treat every day as a gift. Once time passes, we can’t get it back. The average human life lasts about 31,000 days. What will you do with yours?

    Will you waste it on petty arguments with strangers online? Will you hold on to that grudge? Will you keep feeling envious of others? Or will you move past the arguments, the grudges, and the envy—and finally start living your life?

    Life is about meaningful experiences—with the people who bring us joy, or with nature itself. It’s not about convincing strangers to live by your values. That’s a waste of time. The truth is, not everyone will see the world the way you do—and that’s okay. Don’t waste your energy arguing or trying to change them. Be curious. Be understanding.

    Some people are rude and obnoxious. Let them be. You don’t have to let their actions affect your peace by pulling you into arguments or drama. Many of us waste precious time on distractions like these—often because we haven’t yet figured out who we are.

    That’s why self-discovery is so important.

    As Ryan Holiday said:

    “Life is very short. Too short for silly arguments, too short for beating your head against the wall, too short to try to understand things that don’t matter, that are not asking to be understood by you. Leave them alone. Focus on what you have to do. Don’t get implicated in ugliness.”

    Start by trying new things. Write about how you feel. Meditate. These are small but powerful ways to discover who you are and what you love. Keep an open mind. Don’t dismiss something just because it doesn’t “seem like you.” Listen to the people who want to help you—and learn to ignore the naysayers. (Easier said than done, I know.)

    But go out there and live. Don’t get sucked into petty distractions.

    Time is ticking.

    Take care.

  • Keep Going: Pushing Through When Life Feels Heavy

    Life gets tough. It’s full of struggles. If you’re like most people, you’ve gone through difficult times. Maybe you’re in one of those moments now, wondering, “Am I ever going to get over this?” Life can be hard.

    If you’ve made it through hardship and are now in a better place, don’t forget what you went through. There’s pride in that. Let your struggles remind you of your strength, growth, and the lessons you’ve learned along the way.

    Life often moves in cycles. We go from good times to bad, and sometimes, even worse. When we’re at our worst—those moments that feel like hell—there’s only one thing we can do: keep moving forward. As Rodney Atkins once sang:

    “If you’re goin’ through hell, keep on going

    Don’t slow down, if you’re scared, don’t show it

    You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there.”

    Each day, we must rise, however difficult it may be, and face what lies ahead. There will be days when opening your eyes is the win. Days when getting out of bed feels impossible. That’s normal. But it can’t become the norm. We must continue.

    Sometimes, life feels unbearable. Still, we are not powerless. While we can’t control everything, we can control our actions—and that means we can change the direction of our lives. We can choose to see life as an opportunity, not an obligation.

    Of course, that’s easier said than done. And yes, sometimes we need help. When we’re deep in a hole, climbing out can feel unrealistic, even pointless. But that’s your mind lying to you. There is a way out—and it starts with one small step. A shift in perspective.

    Ryan Holiday, reflecting on the Stoics, wrote:

    “You keep going. You do your best. Even if life has kicked the crap out of you. Even if someone has twisted your insides up. Even if you’re depressed. Even if you’re anxious. Even if you’re tired, so tired. Even if nobody knows. Even if nobody understands.”

    One of the hardest things is feeling like no one understands what you’re going through. You feel alone. But even though it’s frustrating, most people will listen. They might not have all the answers—but speaking your truth is a powerful step forward.

    Don’t be afraid to reach out. Be brave. Keep moving forward. Over time, your thoughts won’t hold you back. They’ll become the wind behind you, helping you move ahead.

    The mind is complex. Life is complex. You are complex. But thankfully, there are countless ways to manage, grow, and heal.

    Keep going.

    Take care.

  • The Obstacle is the Way

    Life has its ups and downs. Everyone experiences hardship, success, failure, and luck throughout their lifetime. These may not always be balanced, but one thing is certain: we will all face obstacles. The most important part of dealing with them is acceptance.

    You can try to avoid obstacles, but you’ll end up running away from something your entire life—and that’s not truly living. You’ll miss out on challenges that help you grow and learn about yourself. Challenges reveal what you’re capable of. Without them, you’ll never push your boundaries. So, accept the obstacle. Accept the challenge.

    Not all obstacles are equal, and that means you shouldn’t go through them blindly. First, evaluate them. There are many ways to face an obstacle. Ask yourself: Can I go around it? Over it? Under it? Or is the best way to go through it?

    In most cases, turning back is not the best option. Giving up shouldn’t be on the table—because chances are, you’ll face a similar situation again, and you’ll wish you had tried earlier. Tackling challenges and navigating obstacles makes you more adaptable and better prepared for the future.

    The thing about obstacles is that they often feel the same at first: doubt creeps in, and you’re faced with a decision—fight or flight. If you don’t take the time to assess the obstacle and figure out how to overcome it, your default reaction might be to avoid it. But the more you do that, the more future obstacles will feel insurmountable. They start to pile up. It may seem like bad luck, but in reality, it’s your mindset. Every time you turn away from an obstacle, your confidence and resilience take a hit.

    On the other hand, when you face an obstacle and take the time to figure out how to move forward, you build confidence. The next challenge doesn’t seem so intimidating. It may take more effort now to deal with tough obstacles, but in the long run, you’ll be stronger, more efficient, and better equipped to handle whatever comes your way.

    Your choice.

    Take care.

  • The True Nature of Progress: Why Small Steps Matter More Than Big Leaps

    Progress doesn’t always look the way we expect it to. Sometimes it’s fast and visible. Other times it’s quiet, slow, and hidden beneath the surface. But it’s still there — moving you forward in ways you might not even see yet.

    Progress looks different depending on the season of your life. When you’re younger, you have more energy, so progress may appear faster than when you’re older. Still, whatever you’re working on, progress changes throughout the year — and even from day to day.

    You try your best to anticipate what might go wrong, but you can’t predict everything. You also can’t expect to be perfect all the time or accomplish everything you planned for the day. Unexpected events come and go, often leaving disrupted plans behind.

    There are days when you start with great intentions, but your energy just isn’t there. Maybe you only get a few things done — or nothing at all because you’re not feeling well. Whatever the reason, it happens. You can’t be at 100% all the time.

    You don’t have to accomplish something grand every single day. Small actions contribute to progress. They move you forward. It might not be obvious in the moment, but over time those small steps will stack up and become visible.

    Step by step, day after day, action will get you where you want to go. Consistency is key. Don’t make it a habit to sit back and wait for things to happen. Take action — whatever that looks like, whether it’s a large or small effort. Don’t be discouraged. Look back at what you’ve accomplished and remember how far you’ve come.

    Consistency fuels progress. Don’t give up — quitting only guarantees you won’t achieve what you set out to do. Even a small step is enough. Don’t overthink or stress about it.

    Keep going — progress is made one small step at a time.

    Take care.

  • Be in Control of Your Life: Focus on What Truly Matters

    Life is tough sometimes. We all go through peaks and valleys, and some of the rough patches last longer than others. It depends on many factors, but we should always keep in mind what is within our control.

    Our life belongs to us, and the truth is, no one really cares what we do with it unless it directly affects them. People are too busy living their own lives and dealing with their own problems. Other people’s problems can’t be their main focus — right?

    If someone seems overly focused on your life, it’s often because they’re avoiding something in their own. They might be pushing aside their issues to distract themselves with yours, hoping it makes them feel better. So, whatever others may say or do, keep your attention on your own path and what you can control — not on the opinions of others. Only you truly know what’s right for you.

    We also can’t step into other people’s lives. We don’t control others, and we shouldn’t try to. Whatever stresses us in the moment should be addressed quickly — not overanalyzed. Think about it too long, and it becomes a problem of its own. As Seneca said, “He who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than is necessary.” Dwelling on what we can’t control or worrying about what could go wrong only causes us to suffer twice — first in our minds, and then in reality. The more we feed those anxious thoughts, the more they spiral, creating an endless cycle.

    We must not get lost in our own minds. Instead, we should stay present and focus on what’s truly within our control. That’s how we live our best life. We only get one — so let’s live it fully, regardless of what others think. If it brings you fulfillment and doesn’t harm anyone, follow your purpose.

    Take care.

  • We Don’t Get Credit for Everything — and That’s Okay

    The most famous people are often known for doing something extraordinary — either remarkable or infamous. People tend to notice only the extremes, and perhaps for good reason. We often divide the world into two halves: good or bad, generous or greedy. Few notice the people in the middle — the “good enough” ones. It’s understandable; quiet goodness isn’t flashy and, frankly, not that interesting to talk about.

    Everyone loves recognition, and it has its place — but that shouldn’t be the intent behind a kind gesture. Instead, it should come from a genuine desire to help. You feel another person’s struggle and know that a little help or encouragement can go a long way.

    That same mindset applies when we measure the value of our actions. We shouldn’t judge their worth on a grand scale. For example, we might think a small donation can’t end child hunger — but it can feed at least one person. That’s enough. That’s a start. It makes a real difference in someone’s life. You might not see it or receive thanks — and if you ever do, that’s just a byproduct. The primary reason is the quiet satisfaction of knowing you made a positive difference and helped make the world a better place.

    Those simple, small actions often go unnoticed because they don’t set us apart. When you’re in the middle, people often overlook the good and focus on the bad. People tend to remember acts of spite or revenge because they attach strong negative emotions to them. Once an emotion is tied to a person, it’s hard to shake. Good or bad, negative emotions feel like stains on the soul — trust gets lost.

    This dynamic isn’t limited to everyday life — it happens in leadership too. There are times when you hold influence or power and use it to inspire others by treating everyone with thoughtfulness and respect, regardless of who they are. Yet people often overlook this because they grow accustomed to a leader’s generosity. Unfortunately, in many cases, power corrupts — it tends to reveal people’s true colours.

    When someone resists that corruption — whether at work or in the community — few celebrate it. Not in the moment, anyway. It’s only appreciated later, when their successor turns out corrupt or different. Only then do we realize that power never corrupted them — they were simply a good human being. You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.

    Ryan Holiday wrote, “You don’t get credit for what you don’t do. You don’t get credit for the fact that you could be worse. You don’t get credit for not breaking societal norms for which the enforcement mechanisms are weak.”

    Whatever position we hold in life, we must do what is right — no matter the circumstance. We must stay honest with ourselves and with society.

    We don’t get credit for everything we do — and that’s okay. Doing what’s right isn’t about recognition; it’s about integrity.

    Take care.

  • When Words Hurt: How to Stay Grounded in Who You Are

    No one likes to be made fun of or be the brunt of a joke. No one wants to be ignored, attacked, or humiliated. We want to be loved, accepted, and celebrated. We want to be included. However, not all of this is in our control. We must accept events as they are. The only thing we truly control is what we think and how we respond.

    No one can disgrace you except yourself. People can say what they want—good or bad—but only one thing matters: what you say and believe about yourself. If you know something isn’t true, why should it affect you? Of course, that’s easier said than done. Emotions play a part, and they are difficult to control.

    It’s hard to stay composed when someone’s impression of us is negative. Even if we know their words aren’t true and are more a reflection of them than of us, we often feel the urge to defend ourselves.

    Why do we need to convince someone that we are not stupid, mean, or ugly when we already know that’s not true? Why waste our energy defending ourselves against something we know is false? Perhaps it’s instinct—the human need for acceptance—that drives us. It’s not easy to tame something wired into us since the beginning of our existence.

    That being said, if someone called me a purple elephant with malicious intent, I’d laugh and brush it off. But if someone called me a pathetic loser, I’d feel a rush of emotions and the urge to defend myself, even if that person was a stranger. Why? Why do we put so much weight on what others—even strangers—think of us? Perhaps it’s rooted in evolution, when belonging to the tribe meant survival. Either way, it’s a powerful pull.

    Some people have learned to tune out the noise from strangers. Kudos to them. I still have work to do, and it’s something that requires constant attention. If you feel the urge to defend yourself to a stranger, pause and ask yourself why. You know yourself better than anyone. In the end, it shouldn’t matter what someone you’ve never met thinks of you.

    Take care.

  • Little Is Needed for a Happy Life: Finding Joy Beyond Money

    Some parents did their best to provide for their kids, while others didn’t. When we look at people who are successful today, we often hear stories of rough childhoods or traumatic experiences they had to overcome. They learned early on that getting what you want—or making a change—takes action.

    Some of the greatest minds came from nothing. They had little growing up and, most interestingly, only had themselves to rely on. Yet they found a way to survive—and even thrive—against all odds.

    One study found that 79% of millionaires in the U.S. didn’t inherit their wealth, and many of them live modest lives. They don’t get carried away by money or glamour; instead, they use what they need and share their wealth. Look at how many wealthy people live today—the Mark Zuckerberg’s, Bill Gates’, Tony Robbin’s. How do they spend their money and live day to day? They aren’t consumed by entitlement; they understand that money is a tool to improve their lives and the lives of others. That doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy nice things—they do—but they don’t parade them around.

    Money is powerful—and it can corrupt people if they’re not careful. It has a way of revealing someone’s true colours. It can also cause a kind of amnesia, making people forget who they were before wealth. Many believe money will solve all their problems, but as Jim Carrey once said, “I wish everyone could become rich to know that is not the answer.”

    Money is not the answer. It never was, and it never will be. Nearly 2,000 years ago, Marcus Aurelius, emperor of Rome, wrote: “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”

    We must decide how we live—no one else can do that for us. We don’t need much to be happy; the simpler, the better. A simple life means fewer worries, fewer problems, and more time to focus on what truly matters.

    Take care.

  • Life Is Hard, But It’s Also Beautiful

    Life is filled with challenges. Some people face far greater difficulties than others, while some experience fewer. Life exists on a spectrum. We are all different, shaped by our upbringing, beliefs, and environment.

    Humanity has faced challenges since the beginning of mankind. Many of those early struggles no longer exist—such as staying warm, finding food during winter, certain diseases, and basic shelter. Every generation, however, faces its own set of problems. Today, we experience longer and more frequent natural disasters, newly emerging diseases, and technology-dependent challenges. Regardless of how we see the world, challenges will always exist. We cannot escape them.

    However, there is much to be celebrated about life. It contains many beautiful elements. Life can be wonderful and joyful if we are willing to work at it. We must accept that challenges exist while choosing to focus on the good moments and meaningful experiences. Mother Nature can be cruel, but it can also be exquisitely beautiful. The world can create new diseases, yet it can also come together to develop vaccines that save millions of lives.

    Then there are the small, wonderful things in life that are often taken for granted: sunsets and sunrises, a stranger holding the door open, hitting every green light on the way home, the smell of coffee in the morning, children playing and laughing. Life is hard, but it is also beautiful. Don’t miss it.

    At its core, every challenge feels the same within us. The ego convinces us that it is impossible because it feels dangerous. We must move past this barrier and remind ourselves that we are safe. Challenges exist to help us grow and become better versions of ourselves. Don’t let your mind fool you. Accept the challenge. Don’t let life define itself as hard.

    Take care.