Feel The Wave

Where you begin your personal growth journey.

Category: Uncategorized

  • Pay Attention to Your Life

    Pay Attention to Your Life

    Change “I have to” into “I get to”

    Have you ever taken a day to notice all the little things you do and ask yourself whether they are actually making your life better or worse? We sometimes do things because we feel we have to. But changing our mindset from “I have to” to “I get to” can create a greater sense of gratitude and appreciation.

    Not everyone gets to experience what you experience, so being thankful for these everyday moments can change your perspective.

    We can choose to enjoy our daily tasks. Bring our attention back to the so-called mundane things, like making our morning coffee. Don’t treat it as an obstacle standing between you and the next thing. Make it the thing in that moment.

    This is where you are. Enjoy it.

    Ordinary moments deserve our attention

    Getting the kids ready for their next activity? Be there. Enjoy it. Preparing dinner for the family while the kids are being loud? Be there. Enjoy it.

    These moments won’t be there forever.

    We can’t dismiss these moments. They deserve our attention because they are part of our lives. Preparing your kids for school can be hectic, but it can also teach you patience. It’s time spent with your kids, giving you an opportunity to get to know them a little better.

    The mundane moments aren’t interruptions to our lives. They are our lives.

    Take the time to notice

    Sometimes, we need to slow down and recognize what we are actually doing. We need to pay attention to our surroundings, but more importantly, we need to pay attention to what our day-to-day lives actually look like. Controlling our attention is one of the most important skills we can develop today.

    The amount of attention you devote to these simple, everyday moments matters. We can either rush through them to get to the next thing, or we can slow down and appreciate them for what they are.

    James Clear has written about finding beauty and joy in our daily rituals and how our habits shape our days and, ultimately, our lives.

    Where we place our attention is ultimately where we spend our lives.

    Our lives aren’t only the vacations, celebrations, and big accomplishments. They’re also making dinner, getting the kids ready, walking the dog, and cleaning the house.

    Any moment, big or small, is part of our lives.

    Pay attention to all of them.

    Take care.

  • Mental Decluttering: Let Go of What You Don’t Need

    Mental Decluttering: Let Go of What You Don’t Need

    Go, go, go.

    We’re always moving and going because social media makes us believe we need to be busy to be happy. We can’t feel content when we’re relaxing, especially when it seems like everyone around us is going on adventures and doing everything we want to do.

    Social media has a tendency to play tricks on us. We think everyone is busy and doing something with their family and friends. Social media is designed to show the fun, adventurous and exciting moments.

    We don’t see the days when people take a day off and sit on the couch all day watching TV. There are moments in life we don’t share. What we see on social media is only a small fraction of someone’s life.

    We can’t expect ourselves to keep up with ten people who share what they’ve done over the past ten days and then try to do everything they’re doing. We can’t live ten lives.

    Remove the idea that being busy is good.

    Being intentional, thoughtful and mindful is better. What makes you appreciate being alive?

    The key word here is you.

    Do what you want, not what others want and not what you think others expect from you.

    Sometimes, when we take a step back and think about what we truly want, we realize we’ve been living someone else’s life. It’s not at all what we expected of ourselves and, at some point, we got lost.

    We were so occupied with trying to stay busy that we forgot who we are.

    Our passions and hobbies we enjoyed when we were younger have been ignored. Adulthood somehow put a cover over them. All of this came from thinking we need to do everything as fast as possible and always look busy.

    We accumulated these habits from others. Most of the time, it’s people we don’t even know who influence us through social media.

    We’ve lost ourselves and feel overwhelmed with everything we think we need to do.

    The solution is to declutter our habits.

    Just like in spring, we need to clean things up. We need to look at what we’re doing, why we’re doing it and whether it still serves us.

    Ryan Holiday wrote it best:

    “There’s only one way out of this mess. Ruthlessly decluttering. We have to eliminate, eliminate, eliminate. Get rid of baggage. Let go of beliefs… let go of worries. Let go of people. We have to stop buying things. And stop saying yes. We must free ourselves from the weight of excess. Shed what’s unnecessary. Clean away what’s holding us down.”

    It won’t be easy, but it will be necessary.

    You’ll feel lighter and freer once you’ve let go of the need to always be “busy.”

    Take care.

  • Tranquility Starts With Knowing Yourself

    Tranquility Starts With Knowing Yourself

    You can’t force tranquility. You must ease your way toward it.

    There are multiple ways to reach a state of tranquility. Tranquility is a state of being calm and peaceful, where you don’t feel stress or anxiety. That being said, tranquility will not look the same for everyone.

    A hike in the mountains may feel peaceful for one person while being stressful for someone else. This is the beauty of being unique. We must truly know ourselves before we can find tranquility.

    When we are in a state of calmness, we are better able to be present in the moment. Our bodies can relax, and our minds can settle. As a result, tranquility can have a positive effect on our mental well-being.

    Tranquility is also great for our overall well-being. We live in a fast-paced world, and tranquility gives us an opportunity to slow down and unwind. We can find it through our hobbies, meditation, journaling, or simply going for a walk. There are many ways to create moments of calm.

    When you take the time to know yourself, you also allow yourself to become more emotionally balanced. You’re not on edge anymore, and you better understand yourself and what makes you tick.

    As you get to know yourself through the actions you take to find tranquility, you also become better equipped to manage daily challenges. You have the confidence to take action. This can lead to greater happiness and satisfaction.

    When you take time for yourself, you’re not being selfish. You’re making space for your mental well-being.

    This doesn’t mean you have to do it all alone. Support from others has its benefits. People who share your values and allow you to be yourself can be essential to finding tranquility in certain settings. Sometimes, being around the right people can be just as calming as spending time alone.

    It’s not easy to find tranquility in the busy world we live in. However, it’s not impossible.

    Sometimes, all we need is a few minutes each day to disconnect. Find what works best for you, whether that’s taking a walk, writing, meditating, or simply sitting quietly for a few minutes.

    Once you find what works for you, keep at it and see how much better you feel mentally and emotionally.

    Take care.

  • Little Progress Every Day Leads to Huge Leaps

    Little Progress Every Day Leads to Huge Leaps

    It’s the little things in life that matter. Have you ever heard that phrase before?

    We usually hear it when we miss out on something big and feel discouraged. Other times, it’s a friend trying to cheer us up, or simply something we tell ourselves to put things back into perspective.

    Little, simple, straightforward things aren’t only important in life’s events; they’re also important when it comes to improving ourselves.

    When we practice, we improve a little every day. Over time, that small progress can lead to massive gains. But when we boil it down, those gains took time and effort. You can’t improve monumentally overnight.

    You don’t train for a triathlon for one day and suddenly become ready to compete. You start small. Maybe you run a couple of miles one day, bike the next, and swim on the third. Every day, you make sure you get your workout in, or get the rest your body needs.

    Day after day, you continue.

    Because you improved incrementally, when the date on the calendar arrives, you’re ready.

    The same applies to almost everything we want to accomplish in life.

    You are shaped by your habits and actions. Those small daily actions are what build you. You get a little bit better every day because your daily routines and positive habits stack up.

    Regardless of how small or insignificant an action may seem, it is still adding up. It is not nothing.

    Those actions are what bring you closer to your goal. They are the road. They are the process.

    As Ryan Holiday puts it:

    “This is why today and every day you need to focus on those little things—the habits, the discipline, the refusal to make excuses. No single action seems significant as it occurs, but over time they accumulate.”

    What you do every day shapes your future and, eventually, how you see yourself.

    A runner runs.
    A writer writes.
    A painter paints.

    The things you repeatedly do become part of who you are.

    This is why you shouldn’t underestimate the small decisions you make every day. Going for the run. Writing the paragraph. Reading the page. Practicing the skill. Choosing to do the difficult thing instead of making an excuse.

    One action may not seem like much.

    But do it tomorrow.

    And then the next day.

    And the day after that.

    Track your decisions and what you do every day, then look at how far you’ve come after a month, six months, or a year.

    You’ll be amazed at how much one decision a day can change your life over the course of a year.

    Little progress every day can eventually lead to huge leaps.

    Take care.

  • The Power of Enjoying the Process

    The Power of Enjoying the Process

    We all have goals in life. We want to accomplish things, be rewarded, and be recognized for the hard work we put in. Yet most of that recognition only comes after the goal is achieved—if anyone is even around to notice, and even then, it’s never guaranteed.

    The truth is, the hard work and the hours spent mastering our skills often go unnoticed. And that’s where we spend 99% of our time.

    People don’t see what you do day in and day out to reach your goals, nor should they. You can’t expect someone to always be by your side encouraging you. Discipline and resilience are built in solitude. What you do when no one is watching is often the most important part of your journey. That’s where the difference between success and failure is made.

    If you need praise at every step of your journey, it’s worth asking yourself why you’re doing this. Is it for yourself, or for recognition? If it’s the latter, you’ll likely have a hard time finishing what you set out to do. And even if you do, you may find yourself miserable along the way. But if you continue to work when no one is watching, and keep putting in the effort when no one is cheering you on, you’re exactly where you need to be.

    When you wake up early to improve yourself, sharpen your skills, and master your craft, not for applause, but because you genuinely want to grow, you’re on the right path. There will be days when it’s hard to get moving. Days when doubt creeps in and you question whether you should continue. In those moments, remind yourself why you started.

    When your reason is rooted within you, your drive becomes stronger. You don’t need a crowd. You enjoy the work. You enjoy the process. And that process keeps pushing you forward.

    Of course, no one does everything alone. From time to time, we all need encouragement. We all need reminders to keep going. But those moments should be few and far between. Your foundation must be built on your own willingness to keep going, whether people are watching or not.

    Too many people quit because they depend on the opinions and encouragement of others as fuel. That’s unsustainable. Everyone is running their own race and, naturally, focused on their own lives.

    People may support you, but over time their attention shifts. Your goal becomes part of your identity, and eventually, it becomes normal to them. That’s why your motivation cannot depend on them.

    Whatever you’re striving for, do it for yourself. Enjoy the process, and let the goal be the bonus. Because when you learn to love the process, you don’t just increase your chances of success, you make the journey worth living.

    Take care.

  • You Always Have a Choice

    You Always Have a Choice

    Sometimes we think we don’t have a choice. We worry, feel stress, and carry doubts, those things are inevitable. To a certain degree, they are part of life, but they don’t need to linger longer than necessary.

    External circumstances may influence how you feel, but they are not the true source of your emotions. You are the one who decides how to respond in certain situations. You are the master of your world.

    Emotions are part of being human, but we can’t allow them to control us. You can do something about your anxiety, your stress, and your shame. It takes work and requires facing things you may not want to confront, but the benefits that come from accepting the realization that you have the power to change yourself are unmatched. Look within yourself and ask why you feel the way you do.

    There are different ways to discover why you react to certain things. The first step is awareness. Once you realize something triggers you, try to look at it objectively. Ask yourself what could be done differently next time. If you tell yourself there’s nothing you can do, you may be lying to yourself. When we react poorly to situations, that reaction is often the very thing we have the power to change.

    There may be nothing you can do to change the event itself, but you always have the ability to change or improve your reaction to it. If you can change something externally, great—go do what needs to be done. But if you can’t, why carry the weight of worry?

    We can’t control external circumstances. We can influence them, but we cannot let ourselves become consumed by them. Instead, we must learn to master our internal thoughts and emotions. When you master the internal game, the external world loses much of its power over you.

    Address the problem where you can actually make a difference: within yourself. External events are rarely the real problem; how we react to them often is. The discomfort resides within us, and that is good news—because it means we can do something about it.

    Take care.

  • The What the Hell Effect: How Small Setbacks Derail Big Goals

    The What the Hell Effect: How Small Setbacks Derail Big Goals

    Life is tough. Life is not always fair. No one goes through it without experiencing setbacks or facing obstacles. Some challenges are the result of our own actions, while others arrive through no fault of our own. Some people may appear to have it easier than others. That’s simply reality.

    We can choose to ignore these realities and convince ourselves that life is unfair because the world is against us. When we adopt this mindset, we often retreat at the first sign of difficulty because we believe success was meant to be easier. The effort feels greater than the reward.

    Or we can remind ourselves that no matter what life throws our way, or what others seem to get away with, we must keep our heads up and continue moving forward. To do that, we must resist what psychologists call the “What the Hell Effect.”

    The What the Hell Effect occurs when a small setback causes us to abandon a goal entirely. We give in to negative thinking and convince ourselves that our progress no longer matters. Instead of seeing a setback as a temporary detour, we treat it as the end of the road.

    Life is a winding road filled with peaks and valleys. Regardless of what you do, there will be good times and difficult times. We cannot allow those difficult moments to stop us from pursuing our goals and continuing to grow. How far you choose to travel down that road is ultimately up to you.

    The farther you travel, the more capable you become. As you grow, you’ll be able to handle increasingly difficult challenges. What once seemed like a massive obstacle becomes manageable because you’ve developed the experience, skills, and confidence needed to overcome it. Through trial and error, you learn, adapt, and become stronger.

    No matter how experienced you become, setbacks remain inevitable. Experts face them just as beginners do. The difference is that they understand setbacks are part of the process, not a reason to quit.

    A common example of the What the Hell Effect can be seen in New Year’s resolutions and health goals. People often start strong but eventually justify a small indulgence as a reward for their hard work. They tell themselves one treat won’t hurt. What begins as a single indulgence can gradually become a habit that undermines the original goal. Before long, the goal is pushed aside and becomes a distant memory.

    The same thing happens in many areas of life. We miss one workout, skip one savings deposit, procrastinate on one project, or allow one setback to shake our confidence. Instead of getting back on track, we think, “What the hell?” and continue drifting further away from the path we intended to follow.

    The danger isn’t the setback itself. The danger is allowing the setback to convince us that our efforts no longer matter.

    It’s okay to experience setbacks. In fact, they are unavoidable. What matters is how you respond to them.

    When a setback occurs, recognize it for what it is: a temporary detour, not a dead end. Awareness is your greatest defence against the What the Hell Effect. The moment you become aware that you’re drifting away from your goal, you can make the decision to correct your course.

    Progress is not about perfection. It’s about continuing forward despite mistakes, obstacles, and disappointments. A single setback doesn’t erase all the effort you’ve invested. Learn from it, adjust, and keep moving.

    Be ready. Be present. Keep going.

    Take care.

  • Why Knowing Yourself Matters

    Why Knowing Yourself Matters

    Look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see?

    Most of us don’t spend much time analyzing and judging ourselves the way we analyze and judge others. We usually don’t because we believe we already know ourselves inside and out. For the most part, we look in the mirror to identify external flaws. We check whether our hair looks right, our face is clean, and our clothes fit properly.

    But how often do you look inward and examine your thoughts, actions, and habits?

    If your answer was anything other than “often,” it may be time to spend more time reflecting on who you are. We rarely examine our thoughts because we’re convinced we already know the answers. Or we’re afraid of what we might find. Either way, not truly knowing yourself can lead to frustration and uncertainty in your abilities.

    That frustration and uncertainty often show up in how we judge others. We may project our insecurities onto the people around us. We wonder how someone could be so naive or so foolish. We question their decisions and criticize their actions. Yet we rarely apply the same level of scrutiny to ourselves.

    Self-examination is uncomfortable. It’s much easier to identify what everyone else is doing wrong than it is to acknowledge our own shortcomings. We turn a blind eye to our mistakes and avoid confronting the insecurities we’d rather not face.

    Eventually, a part of you will begin asking deeper questions and pulling you toward self-discovery. If you don’t truly know yourself, there will always be unanswered questions lingering in your subconscious. Although they’re there, most of us ignore them until we begin to feel them tugging at us from deep within.

    It’s like looking into a dusty mirror. You can see yourself, but the reflection is blurred. Taking time to think about what you want, what you value, and what you love slowly wipes away the dust. The clearer the mirror becomes, the clearer your understanding of yourself becomes. And the more often you do it, the easier it is to recognize the person staring back at you.

    Once you recognize yourself, you’ll be less tempted to judge others. You’ll become comfortable with who you are, and instead of criticizing, you’ll seek to understand. Your view of the world will change, and you’ll begin to discover more about the people and opportunities around you. You may find possibilities you once believed were meant for others, or opportunities you never noticed at all. As your perspective expands, the world becomes much bigger than you ever imagined.

    Knowing yourself doesn’t just reveal who you are; it opens the door to endless possibilities. The clearer you see yourself, the more clearly you’ll see the world around you.

    Take care.

  • Small Acts of Kindness Can Change Lives

    Small Acts of Kindness Can Change Lives

    It seems the news on television is always reporting something terrible that is happening or has happened. Good news either feels nonexistent or is tucked away at the end of a segment for only a few seconds.

    They report on wars, floods, earthquakes, and wildfires. It can feel like nothing good is happening in the world and that we are standing at the edge of chaos. It feels never-ending. Yet bad things have happened since humans first roamed the earth. During these moments, there are different types of people.

    There are those who do not know about it, those who ignore it, those who believe it was deserved, those who donate, and those who take action. The latter group wants to help as much as they can. Often, these people have a close relationship with the area or situation. It could involve someone they know, or perhaps the place itself holds significance to them.

    However, some people are not helping because they do not want to, but because they simply cannot. Personal circumstances may prevent them from providing financial or physical support. It is important to remember that supporting others is not limited to money or physical action. Sometimes, sending a kind message is a meaningful form of support. It may seem small or insignificant, but it may be all you can offer at that moment. Every act of kindness matters.

    As we think about the disasters that have recently struck around the world, helping in any way we can matters. It might not seem significant on an individual level, but if one thousand people each donate one dollar, that becomes one thousand dollars. If one hundred people send blankets to families who lost their homes in a wildfire, that is one hundred people receiving warmth and comfort.

    The lesson is to help each other as much as we can, however we can. Even if you think your actions are insignificant, do them anyway. You never truly know the impact you might have on someone else’s life.

    You never know when or where disaster may strike next. One day, you may find yourself hoping that someone reaches out with a kind word, a meal, a blanket, or support of any kind.

    Treat others the way you would want to be treated. Help where you can.

    Take care.

  • Changing Your Mind Is a Strength, Not a Weakness

    Changing Your Mind Is a Strength, Not a Weakness

    People have different opinions. This has always been true and always will be. We can either accept this reality or resist it. However, understanding that people think differently than you is a superpower. It gives you the opportunity to learn and understand perspectives outside of your own.

    An opinion is not always based on facts. Sometimes opinions are shaped by our upbringing, experiences, and environment. Most people believe they are right until they are exposed to a different point of view. People are not deliberately wrong; often, they simply do not know any better because their understanding is limited to what they have experienced.

    This applies to you as well.

    The world often makes us feel ashamed when we are wrong, but the truth is that being wrong is one of the best ways to learn. Growth happens through trial and error. Sometimes we need others to point out where we have drifted off course.

    Ask yourself how often you seek feedback. One of humanity’s greatest strengths is the ability to learn from one another. We can listen to different perspectives, gather new information, and adjust beliefs we may have held for years.

    Meaningful feedback pushes us to grow and improve. It also allows us to make adjustments when necessary. Feedback should not be one-sided; the most effective feedback comes through collaboration and discussion. When people feel involved in the process, they become more engaged in the change itself.

    You cannot be afraid of change.

    People evolve over time. Everyone does. You are not the same person you were ten years ago, five years ago, last year, or even yesterday. Life is a classroom. Keep your mind open to learning and allow yourself to grow through experience.

    Take care.