We don’t all have great days in our lives. Sometimes, life gets tough, and we find ourselves stuck in a vortex of misery, wondering when it will all end. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows in this world. Conversely, there are days when everything seems to work in our favour. That’s life—a blend of fortunate and unfortunate events. Some are self-inflicted, while others are completely out of our control.
For instance, bad weather might cause a flood in the basement, or a tree might fall on your car. On the other hand, there are things within our control that we sometimes mishandle, like yelling at someone or telling a lie. Then, there are trivial matters—like the grocery store running out of your favourite food or hitting every red light on your commute—that we allow to upset us unnecessarily. These reactions often stem from a disconnect with our core values and an unhealthy focus on what we can’t control.
Some people seem unable to look the other way. To them, everything they see or hear feels like a personal attack. Pessimistic and grumpiness, they share certain tendencies: they get easily frustrated, furious, and angry, and they respond that way. They wonder why life never seems to go their way, unaware that the only thing they truly control is their own behaviour. Responding with anger doesn’t help them—or anyone else. In fact, it only worsens the situation.
What does anger accomplish when someone cuts you off in traffic? What does it achieve when your child doesn’t listen? Not much. It’s natural to feel anger, frustration, or fury when your values are challenged. However, feeling anger and responding to it are two entirely different things. Anger is a natural bodily response, but how we respond to it is entirely within our control.
Anger doesn’t offer clarity or creativity. It doesn’t inspire compassion or forgiveness. Instead, it fuels revenge, hatred, and sadness. When we respond in anger, we muddy the waters, but calmness has the power to clear them.
When your values feel threatened, you need your full mental capacity to respond effectively. This requires self-control, strategic thinking, and courage. To handle these moments with authenticity and intent, you must bring out the best version of yourself.
The next time you feel anger rising within you, pause. Let go of the instinctive, angry response. Take a step back, reflect, and approach the situation with a clear and open mind. You’ll feel much better afterward.
Take care.