There are things we do when we’re alone that we would never do in public. At home, we feel most like ourselves—we let our guard down. The quirks come out: dancing in a funny way, singing in strange voices, acting silly for no reason. Our families might notice, but they don’t think much of it. It’s just part of who we are to them. These actions feel natural, even joyful.
Then, there are things we do only when no one is watching—sometimes even at home. These moments are more deliberate. Maybe you pretend not to see a piece of trash on the floor, or you avoid holding the elevator door for someone and make it seem like you didn’t notice. Maybe you engage in something worse, like anonymously trolling people online. That behaviour is technically public, but your identity remains hidden.
Would you still do those things if your name were attached to them? If your actions were announced publicly, would you feel proud—or ashamed?
Sometimes, we justify these behaviours by saying, “I’m not hurting anyone,” or, “It’s within the rules.” But rules and ethics aren’t always the same. When our identity is hidden—especially online—we tend to push boundaries, act rudely, or follow the crowd, thinking it’s harmless. But if you wouldn’t do it in public, should you really do it at all?
Ryan Holiday once said, “We should strive for the opposite. We want people to see what we’re doing. We should be the kind of person who the more they learn about us, the more they respect and admire us.”
That’s the challenge: to live in such a way that you don’t need to hide any part of yourself. To be proud of what you do—publicly or privately. To be honest, not just with others, but with yourself.
So ask yourself: Just because I could do it… should I?
Take care.