When someone has self-esteem, they usually have good mental health and overall well-being. You can notice when someone has high self-esteem in a room. They smile, look people in the eyes when speaking with them, speak clearly, hold their head high, stand straight and show interest in what others have to say.
What is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is how we value and perceive ourselves. It encompasses our opinions and beliefs about ourselves. Self-esteem is the difference between saying “I failed” and “I’m growing.” However, having too much self-esteem can also be problematic. Excessive self-esteem can lead to feelings of superiority, arrogance, and a tendency to criticize others.
The Impact of Self-Talk
A person’s self-esteem is greatly influenced by their self-talk. If someone engages in negative self-talk, they are likely to have low self-esteem. For example, if a person continuously tells themselves that they will never find someone who loves them because they are “stupid” or a “failure,” they will likely lack confidence around others. This lack of self-confidence creates a vicious cycle of low self-esteem. Know your worth and tell yourself you are doing the best you can and that is enough. Eventually, wins will accumulate and things will turn around. The self-talk will be inspiring.
The Dangers of Comparison
Comparing yourself to others is detrimental to self-esteem. People with low self-esteem often compare themselves to others in an attempt to feel better about themselves. However, they soon realize there is always someone better, which undermines their self-worth. Whether you compare yourself to people who are worse off or better off, this habit will likely leave you feeling unfulfilled and damage your self-esteem. As the saying goes, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Instead compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Ask yourself what you can do today to get better. Small improvements everyday leads to big changes. Do not underestimate tiny everyday actions.
Characteristics of High Self-Esteem
Contrary to what some may think, people with high self-esteem do not see themselves as perfect. They accept their flaws and are resilient, understanding that life has its ups and downs. They know that both good times and bad times are temporary. They employ techniques to boost their self-esteem, such as practicing mindfulness and gratitude. This can be as simple as being grateful for good health, feeling refreshed upon waking, or enjoying a morning coffee. People with high self-esteem stay present and observe things as they are. They focus on what they can control and do not worry about what is beyond their control. They learn from their mistakes and recognize that making mistakes is a natural part of life.
Self-esteem is about accepting who you are right now and knowing that you can change for the better. It is a journey of growth and self-acceptance.
Take care.