The mind doesn’t distinguish between the stories we tell ourselves—whether they’re fiction or non-fiction. This is often referred as cognitive distortions. What we repeat becomes our reality. If you keep telling yourself you’re not good enough, guess what? You’ll never feel good enough.
This doesn’t only apply to how we see ourselves; it also affects how we see others. When you judge someone without truly knowing them, your judgment becomes your reality of who they are, regardless of what they achieve. If you believe someone isn’t smart enough, you’ll never see them as competent—even when they accomplish something remarkable. You’ll convince yourself they were lucky or had help. In your mind, there was simply no way they could have achieved something great.
Our thought patterns can quietly make us miserable. From the outside, no one may notice—but inside, you can feel the struggle and unhappiness. Eventually, you realize something is wrong, and that something must change.
The first step is to get to know yourself better. You can do this through meditation, journaling, or both. These practices help you recognize behavioural patterns and uncover recurring emotions.
For example, while journaling, you might notice feelings of envy or jealousy. When those emotions arise, ask yourself why. If you feel jealous of friends or coworkers who’ve accomplished great things—and believe those achievements were handed to them while you were more deserving—dig deeper. It might take time to sit with those uncomfortable answers, but stay with the process. Eventually, you may realize that those same friends and coworkers worked incredibly hard to achieve what they have.
How would you know if they worked hard? Ask. Be curious about their work ethic and process. Curiosity opens the mind—it helps you see that you can’t control what others do, only what you do. As long as you keep growing, you’ll not only feel happier but also find joy in others’ success.
Learn to accept things as they are. No one is perfect. We all have our own mix of strengths and weaknesses, and that’s okay. Learn to use your strengths to help others and ask for help when you struggle. There’s no shame in seeking support.
No one can be great at everything. Life itself is a team effort. Raising children is teamwork—even for single parents. Children go to school, play with friends, join sports teams, and learn life lessons along the way.
Every great athlete has coaches and teammates who help them become their best selves. Every successful business leader has mentors and colleagues who guide and support them. We all start as beginners—some just progress a little faster than others. We can all achieve greatness if we stay focused, put in the effort, and celebrate others along the way.
Be honest with yourself. Tell your story as it truly is—and remember, you can always change it if you don’t like how it’s unfolding.
Take care.