Self-improvement begins with rejecting the fixed mindset of who we are.
Becoming a leader for the first time can be intimidating. You feel a cascade of emotions—somewhere between anxiety and excitement. This is completely normal. On one hand, this may be something you’ve been working toward, and someone has placed their trust in you by hiring you. On the other hand, you don’t yet know who you are as a leader because you’ve never formally done it.
This was my experience when I became a manager five years ago. Here’s what I’ve learned so far.
At first, I didn’t know what to do. I knew the work inside and out, having spent seven years in the field. But managing employees—that was something I had never done, and quite frankly, never saw myself doing.
Growing up, I was never the leader in team sports or at school. I was usually the one who followed—or, at times, the second in command. But leading the way? Not me.
So I asked myself why.
After some reflection, I realized I didn’t want to fail. Being responsible for others made that fear even heavier. I wasn’t just afraid of failing—I was afraid of being responsible for other people.
And the truth is, it is terrifying.
Being responsible for a team in a work environment, especially for the first time, comes with weight. Managing employees isn’t just about delegating and coaching. It’s about relationships, trust, and well-being. This is people’s livelihood. You have the power to hire, to say no, and even to let someone go.
That reality is not light.
The hiring process, in particular, troubled me at first. I kept asking myself:
“What if the person I hire doesn’t fit in or isn’t able to do the work? Is that on me? Does that make me a bad manager?”
The same thoughts applied to performance. If the team didn’t meet its goals, was it my fault?
To some extent, yes.
As a manager, it’s my responsibility to guide, coach, and elevate the team. It’s my role to create an environment where people can succeed. And more importantly, to inspire them to work with me—not against me.
But over time, I realized something important.
Most of these worries were unnecessary.
By being honest with my team, I discovered that they weren’t just relying on me—I could rely on them too. Showing vulnerability didn’t weaken my leadership; it strengthened it. It showed that I didn’t have all the answers, and that their support mattered.
Comfort and trust matter.
If your team doesn’t feel comfortable around you, how can you expect them to perform at their best?
Everyone is different. The more you understand your team members—both at work and outside of it—the better you can support them. You begin to set realistic expectations, and you learn where to challenge them so they grow.
This doesn’t happen overnight. It’s trial and error. I didn’t get it right the first time—and I still don’t always get it right.
And that’s part of leadership.
It’s a continuous process of learning, adjusting, and improving. Mistakes are not exceptions—they are part of the journey.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that leadership lives in the small things.
It’s not about grand gestures or big recognition. It’s about the simple thank-yous, the pleases, and the quiet words of encouragement. It’s about connection.
Above all else, the most important lesson I’ve learned is this:
Be yourself.
I’m not trying to look or act like a manager. I am a manager. And for me, that means leading as myself.
Take care.
Feel The Wave 