People act differently in different situations. We all have unique experiences and perspectives on how the world works. Some feel entitled, others are humble, and some remain indifferent. You never really know who you’re going to meet.
One thing is certain: how someone behaves, what they say, or how they treat you is ultimately out of your control. What is within your control is how you choose to respond. When we try to understand where someone is coming from, we open ourselves to empathy. With each of us shaped by different life stories, it’s unrealistic to expect others to think or feel exactly as we do. Our uniqueness is what makes us—you and me—who we are.
People’s actions often reflect how they are feeling. When someone acts out of character—or is mean, impatient, or ungrateful—there’s usually something deeper going on. But it’s hard to know what that is, because we only see their actions, not their struggles. Understanding the root of someone’s behaviour often requires conversation—and that can be hard.
Take, for example, a child who bullies others in the schoolyard. It’s likely not just about the bullying itself. Often, the child may be dealing with trauma or may not be receiving enough love and attention at home. Acting out becomes a way to be seen and heard.
Dr. Becky Kennedy wrote:
“Behavior, in all its forms, is a window: into the feelings, thoughts, urges, sensations, perceptions, and unmet needs of a person. Behavior is never ‘the story,’ but rather it’s a clue to the bigger story begging to be addressed.”
When we adopt this perspective, it changes how we see others. Instead of labeling someone as harmful or difficult, we might start to see them as someone who is hurting. We begin to understand why people do what they do.
We are all human. We make mistakes. We do things that don’t always align with our values. But Ever. Looking in the mirror and acknowledging our own behaviour is a powerful step forward. We are always changing, and perfection is never the goal—progress is.
Take care.