The mind cannot categorize the stories we tell ourselves into fiction and non-fiction. The stories we tell ourselves become our reality. If you keep telling yourself you are not good enough over and over, guess what? You will never be good enough. This is not only applicable to yourself. If you judge people without really knowing them, your judgement is your reality about them regardless what they accomplish. If you think someone is not smart enough, guess what? You will never see them as a competent person. Even if they did accomplish something great. You will convince yourself that they got lucky or got help. In your mind, there was no way they could of accomplish something great.
Our thought patterns can make us miserable. It might not be noticeable from the outside but you can feel the struggle and the unhappiness on the inside. You realize something is wrong and something has to change.
Your first step should be getting educated about yourself. That can be done by meditating or journaling or both. Meditation and journaling will lead you to identify behavioural patterns. As an example, the issues you discovered while journaling could be envy and jealousy. Whatever they are, keep asking yourself why these issues keep coming up. If you were envious and jealous of your friends, coworkers when they accomplished something great and thought to yourself these great things were handed to them and you were more deserving than them, ask yourself why you think that. It might take awhile to be comfortable with your answer but keep going. Eventually you will come to the realization that your friends and coworkers who accomplished great things worked really hard to achieve them.
How would you know if they worked hard? Ask. Get curious about their work ethic and process. From there, you will have an open mind and also realize what others do, you cannot control, and only control what you do. As long as you continue to grow, you will be happy and at the same time be happy for others. Consider everything that is as they are. No one is perfect. We all have our combination of strengths and weaknesses and we need to accept these. We must learn how to leverage our strengths to help others and ask for help when we struggle. Do not feel shame asking for help.
No one can be great at everything. Everything in life works as a team. Raising children is team work even if you are a single parent. The child goes to school, plays with friends, plays sports, where they are taught lessons of life. All great athletes have coaches and peers who’ve helped them be their best selves. All great business leaders have a mentor and colleagues helping them. We were all not good at something at some point, some just get there a little more quickly than others. We can all be great if we put some effort, focus on ourselves and celebrate others.
Be honest with yourself. Tell your story as it is. The great thing is you can change your story if you don’t like it.
Take care.