We live in a world driven by attention and likes. We often focus on seeking others’ approval, posting photos that say, ‘Look at me. See how interesting I am. Agree with me. Like me.’ This leads to an unfulfilled life, one that’s dependent on external validation.
Don’t stand out to be famous or loved by everyone; stand out because you do what you love in your own way. Stand out because you are unique. Just be yourself. Don’t seek attention, but strive to improve what you enjoy every day. Resist the flow of the crowd. Be different. As Agrippinus said to another philosopher, ‘Be the red thread in the sweater, the one that makes the garment beautiful.’
Being different and going against the flow isn’t easy. It comes with the cost of others looking at you differently, judging, and belittling you. But if you’re able to withstand the initial judgment, it becomes easier, and eventually, it fades. However, this is easier said than done. It takes courage and self-confidence to overcome the judgment.
The first challenge is facing criticism when you start changing for the better and standing out from others. When people notice your differences, critics emerge, projecting their insecurities onto you in an attempt to bring you down. They envy your confidence in being unique, your courage to be the red thread. Deep down, they wish they had the same resilience to face criticism without letting it affect them.
Criticism often comes from unexpected places, like those you love and trust most—your family and closest friends. Their criticism isn’t because they don’t want you to succeed; it’s because they fear you might fail, get hurt, or look foolish.
There will be friends who want you to fail. Don’t take this as a blow, but as a blessing. Being true to yourself helps you weed out fake friends—those who stayed around because of how they benefited from you, not because they valued you for who you are.
Remember, the people who love you only want to protect you and wish the best for you. Once they see you’re serious about changing and notice the positive impact it has on you, they’ll ease their grip on judgment and criticism. The tension will lift. However, judgment will always be lurking, not just from others but also from within. Trust the process.
Take care.