People are not letting others finish their thoughts or even their sentences when talking to one another. Everybody wants to say their part right away. It seems like people talking over each other is the norm now. It’s as if people know what the last words will be or assuming what the end of the thought will be of the person they are listening to. At the end of the conversation they get the gist of what was said but there is missing some information for them to grasp the full storyline of it. The art of conversation where its purpose is to learn from one another is gone.
You realize this when you are listening to a conversation between the other two who are constantly talking over each other. It is exhausting. As the fly on the wall, you crave the ending of each thought or each sentence. You try deliberately to follow and it takes so much focus when the conversation jumps so quickly between thoughts. Imagine being the people who are having the conversation! How can they possibly follow if they are thinking about what they want to say instead of listening? They are missing half the conversation.
People are so eager on speaking that they don’t process what they other is saying. They get stuck on their thought of what to say which grabs all the attention power in their mind and everything the other person is saying is distorted in their mind. It’s even worse on virtual calls because body language is hidden. Once you start to talk, you realize the other person hadn’t finished and it becomes a see-saw of talk, stop, talk, stop. This is fairly new and we are still learning with these virtual calls.
There is lots of room for improving our conversation habits. A simple step is making a habit of waiting 3 seconds after every pause before speaking. This will allow you to realize the other person has most likely finished speaking their point. That silence often times can be uncomfortable but we need to be comfortable being uncomfortable in these situations. People need reassurance that everything they said was understood. So what do they do? They keep talking. If some people haven’t spoken, they often time fill in the silence with useless silence fillers such as “Yes. That’s what I wanted to say.” Or “That’s the way I see it as well.”
Be comfortable with the silence. Take the time to think about what was said before you respond. We don’t need an answer right away. Let me get back to you and I don’t know are reasonable answers. We will be better off when we start to think and respond rather than respond and regret.
Take care.