The conditions to start your day are perfect. You got a good night sleep, your morning shower is nice and warm, the sun is shining, the morning coffee is brewing, you are not rushed to get anywhere. You couldn’t of planned a better start to your day than this.
But wait, you are not feeling it. There is something bothering you. The perfect morning conditions can’t shake this unwell feeling. The feeling of a heavy weight on your shoulders. What is going on? Sometimes we spend mornings, afternoons, evenings and nights where the outside world is great but inside there are raging rapids trying to get out.
You go to an event with friends without them realizing the chaos inside you. Internally, you are a volcano ready to burst lava 10,000 feet into the air. You get to this point because you can’t express what is going on inside yourself to anyone. How could you when you don’t understand what is going on yourself? When being honest, that’s not the only reason. You don’t think anyone would understand what you are feeling. You make silly future scenarios that feel real such as your family and friends thinking you are weird and abandon you. Or burst out laughing and make fun of you. Any internal turmoil has a expiration date whether you like it or not. If you do not release it in a health way, it will come bursting out. There are different ways to release that internal chaos in a healthy way and it all starts with you.
The first step is sharing your thoughts with yourself. Write out or say it out loud in a mirror how you are feeling. At first it might not be clear but eventually you will be able to articulate clearly how you are feeling and why you are feeling this way. Eventually, you will express how you are feeling to another person. Start simple and general to see how it feels and gage how to other person reacts. Most likely, this important person you decided to share how you are feeling with will listen and might give you advice. It’ll be a huge weight off your shoulders.
Next, express yourself with others simply by saying, “I’m not feeling well today. I don’t know what it is but I’m not 100%”. Additionally, writing helps to express yourself and will allow you to diagnose your feelings, know your triggers and document your behaviours. This will lead to noticing patterns and avoiding triggering situations.
Practice makes perfect is the saying, however, nobody is perfect. Everybody is practicing something to get better and that it is true when expressing yourself. Sometimes you can explain your feeling clearly and sometimes you can’t. The important thing is you did. Remember, you are not alone feeling this way. Even if people do not understand how you are feeling, they will know that you are not ok and will most likely listen to you. Express yourself in a kind way and people will open their hearts. Be courageous.
Take care.