We all have things we like to do on our free time. Some have hobbies such as sports, painting, computer programming while some spend their free time watching television or scrolling social media. Time is filled with something. How you fill that time is up to you. When you don’t have set priorities, your time will be filled with whatever is most convenient at that time for you. Most of the time, with our cellular devices having a platitude of applications and is readily available, people will use these to fill time and kill boredom with whatever suits them. Whether that be social media or a mindless game.
However, time is a precious resource. To avoid the trap of mindless scrolling and time vortex I split my priorities into three areas of life: work, personal and family. Those are my focus and each includes a set of goals I want to accomplish. With each goal, it includes a plan how I reach that goal within a certain timeframe. Setting goals is a process in itself but what is also important is when and where you work on those goals.
I have certain personal priorities that I like to work on during the week nights and early morning weekends. That time is set because it does not interfere with my other two priorities, family and work. Those personal priorities include exercising, reading and writing. I know what they require me to do, what space I need to accomplish each one and when I can do them. I don’t have difficulties making decisions on what to do on week nights or early mornings on weekends because I know what is important to me. Watch TV or read or write or workout? I pick the latter options because those are what makes me feel good about myself and are my personal priorities. I know reading, writing and taking care of my body will bring me closer to my goal of writing a blog post. My mission and vision is clear and making decisions on what to do are easy.
My family priorities include being present with my kids and wife when I’m with them. Once my kids wake up, I am there to get them ready for school, in the evening I am present with them to help them with their homework and play with them, teach them, talk to them and get to know them. At night, I am present with my wife and talk to her about her day. I get to know her a little bit better everyday.
Although my mission and vision are clear, it’s not always easy. Sometimes I don’t want to read or write. TV sounds like a better option. Priorities in different areas of my life interlace from time to time and creates pressure to choose which one to do. Things happen that are out of my control and impact other priorities. Open communication with my wife is important as well when there are conflicting priorities. When priorities are discussed and my wife is aware of my intentions, it lets us set boundaries for personal time and time together. This eliminates guilt when I am not spending time with my wife.
My system is not perfect, nor will it ever be. Adjustment are constantly being made. It’s about balance. Setting a schedule helps eliminate wasted time. As James Clear puts it in Atomic Habits, setting up when, where and how I will be exercising, reading or writing on the week nights and weekend mornings tremendously increases my chance of following through and in turn following my mission and vision. It frees up my mental capacity.
If you say to yourself you don’t have time to take care of yourself however that may look like, then it’s not a priority. If it is, schedule and follow through. Check your calendar, make some time.
Take care.