In times of sickness, all that matters is getting better. That becomes the number one priority. However, if we are informed that the illness will inevitably take us and we come to accept this fate, our focus shifts. It is no longer about recovery but about our loved ones. We strive to spend as much time with them as we can.
For those who are unfortunate enough to have no loved ones at the end of their lives, the focus often turns inward. They reflect on their life and dwell on what they didn’t do right. Regrets surface—regrets of leaving behind important relationships, of dismissing people they once cared about, of assuming someone wasn’t worth their time.
Wherever you are in your life—whether you are sick or healthy, young or old—remember that relationships are the key to living a fulfilling life. It’s not material possessions that create a great life; it’s people. People who love you for who you are and what you stand for—not for your wealth, the money in your bank account, or the house and cars you own.
A compelling example of this comes from the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest study of happiness in history. Begun in 1938, this study initially followed 268 Harvard-educated men and later expanded to include a second cohort of 456 participants from more diverse backgrounds. These individuals were evaluated at least every two years using questionnaires, with the goal of identifying predictors of healthy aging. The main conclusion was clear: having strong, meaningful relationships throughout one’s life has the greatest positive impact on life satisfaction.
At the end of their lives, most people don’t dwell on their accomplishments. They won’t wish for a U-Haul filled with their possessions parked beside their deathbed. Instead, they’ll want to be surrounded by the people they love. They’ll crave human connection—those moments of love with their family and closest friends. Even the likes and comments that seem so important on social media will fade into insignificance.
If today were your last day on earth, what would you do? Ask yourself this question from time to time to clarify what truly matters to you. Focus on those things. Be grateful for them. Cherish them.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have goals, dreams, or material possessions, nor does it mean you should let go of your ambitions. It’s about balance. It’s about not sacrificing meaningful relationships for the sake of materialism.
Take care.